How to Create Family Routines (that'll actually work)

A Purpose Driven Mom Podcast

Episode 407

Are you a mom who is looking to involve your kids into your routines? In this episode of the Purpose Driven Mom podcast, Cara shares her insights on establishing effective family routines. She offers practical advice for creating a structured yet flexible environment that empowers both parents and children. 

As a mom, getting your partner and kids on board with routines can be a challenge. Most times, kids don’t want to do boring, mundane chores, which can leave you extremely overwhelmed. It is important to create routines for the family that work for everyone and fit in with the rhythm and flow of things. Cara shares how routines work best when kids are given a choice. An example can be giving them a task to do during dinner, such as chopping up a vegetable or setting the table. From this there is a sense of accomplishment that happens, leading to kids wanting to continue to do that chore or routine.

There are a few ways to communicate to your family the routines that need to take place. One way is to gather everyone in the living room and have a vision party, which involves discussing what everyone wants as a collective. Discuss what is important to each person, which routines need to take place and which ones family members favour. Use this to set your family up for success.

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Episode Highlights:

1:07 The concept of creating family routines that empower everyone

2:56 Why routines matter

3:51 Strategies for getting the whole family involved in routines

18:54 The importance of involving kids in household tasks 

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Transcript: How to Create Family Routines (that'll actually work)

*Cara Harvey * (00:00:03) – Welcome to the Purpose Driven Moms show here at A Purpose Driven Mom, we believe that it’s possible to manage your home, work on your personal goals, and grow and scale an online business. Most productivity tips out there tell you to hustle more and make you feel shame about not being motivated enough. And we’re here to dispel this myth. I’m Kara Harvey and I am on a mission to help work at home. Moms realize that they have the power to go after their dreams, take care of themselves, and manage their home without perfectionism, guilt, or having to sacrifice their sleep. If you’re ready to shift your thinking around productivity and get some practical tips to help you manage your mom life, toss your earbuds in while you fold the laundry. And let’s do this! Welcome to the Purpose Driven Show, episode 407. I was recording presentation for an upcoming event I’m doing this fall, and I thought, we got to share this here. In this episode, I’m talking all about how do you create routines in your family? Not the ones that leave you being like, mom has to nag every seven seconds, but instead the ones that leave you feeling a little more empowered that everybody’s on board, that you’re not having to follow everyone around the house all the time.

*Cara Harvey * (00:01:07) – Did you do that? Did you do that? Does that sound familiar? Because my house used to sound like that. And now listen, it still does sometimes, but there’s a lot more peace. You can go to Purpose driven RomComs podcast 407 to see the show notes, check out our YouTube channel if you want to watch the presentation in video format. Otherwise, enjoy this session on. How do you create family routines? The ones that you’re actually going to stick with, the ones that are going to get followed by your kids that don’t leave you feeling like Mom the Martyr all the time. Enjoy this episode. Hi, I’m Cara Harvey. Welcome to my presentation on how to create family routines. And these are going to be the ones that don’t have you nagging your kids all the time, but ones that they’re actually excited to work on with you. If you’ve been struggling to get routines going in your home or getting your family on board, this session is really going to help you out where you’re going to talk about a few things today.

*Cara Harvey * (00:01:54) – First, why do the routines actually matter in your home? And no, we’re not going to turn everyone into robots. That has to do things at 901 and 902 and 903. How to get everybody on board, which I think is probably one of our biggest struggles. And then how do we make things easier? We’ll talk about household tasks, meal time tasks, fun, fun routines. We can have those two and then our daily schedules as well if we’ve never met. I’m Carol Harvey, I am a productivity coach. I’m the author of the book of the 15 minute formula, and I am on a mission to help overwhelmed moms develop just systems and routines in their life, to just be less stressed, to go after their goals and not feel the shame in this guilt that comes with working on things that matter to you. I’m a mom of three. My kids are currently six, eight, and 17, and I’ve been doing this life coach thing for about seven years now. I’m the founder of the Purpose Driven Mom Club and the host of the Purpose Driven Mom podcast, and I know what it’s like to feel like you’re the only one in your house doing anything and screaming, can somebody just help me? And I want to help you figure out a way to make it easier.

*Cara Harvey * (00:02:56) – And that’s what we’re going to cover today. Okay, I want to kick us off with this quote from simply. Phil says, when we start replacing distractions with things we love, that’s when we start living with intent. I want you to be intentional about your home. This isn’t about, again, robotic families. This isn’t about everyone is militant in line. And this is what we do. And this isn’t about mom being the martyr. This is about creating routines and rhythms and flows in your home that everybody can get behind. All right, so why do routines matter? I mean, you’re probably like, yeah, obviously I need them, but I just want to tell you it’s more than just the fact that we like them and we want them. Our kids want predictability. It helps them feel safe if they can say like, this is what’s happening next for a child. Their brain is so underdeveloped, they don’t know what’s happening. They don’t know what’s going to happen next. And they really do struggle to understand sequence unless we teach it to them.

*Cara Harvey * (00:03:51) – So by having a predictable hey, we read story before we go to bed, that allows them to feel a little bit more safe in their brain. It also gives them a sense of responsibility. Now, I’ve been working on routines for the past few years. My kids and even last night it was dinner time. My kids knew the routine and they knew that they got to help out. My daughter got to help. We got one of those new cute little chopper things, so she got to like, chop the vegetables, supervised for dinner. They all got to help clean up and they felt like they have a say. I think for kids in particular, they don’t have a lot of choice. A lot of kids decision making is stolen from them from a few reasons one, safety, right? Like it’s not a bad thing that I’m taking my kids choice of. Like, look, before you cross the street and hold my hand or run across the street, right? So it’s not always a bad thing.

*Cara Harvey * (00:04:39) – But for so many kids, they’re either at school activities and their decisions are made for them. When you’re giving them a chance to be a part of the routine, enrolling them in that process, which you’re even getting to do, is helping them feel the sense of responsibility. And they work really well because in your family, this leads to better communication. Again, it’s not just mom is the tyrant telling everyone what to do. It’s I have a say in what’s happening and there’s a lot less power struggles. Granted, they still happen. I’m not the fairy godmother. I’m not going to wave a magic wand, and all of a sudden everyone in your home listens and helps out beautifully. But there are less power struggles because everyone is on the same page. Everyone is on a team. We said we talked in my home team, Harvey. I’m always like, Team Harvey, let’s go, Team Harvey, how are we going to make this work? Because it’s a team. And I think that also goes with the huge benefit of allowing me to feel less stressed out, allowing that resentful ness that comes from stomping around your house.

*Cara Harvey * (00:05:36) – Because why am I the only one to clean up? I mean, I don’t know, I’ll raise my hands. Hear that? Maybe it sounds like one of my house, but allowing me to have less stress around what’s happening in my home and more focus if I know what our afterschool routine looks like. Again, it’s a rhythm. It is not a formula, it is a this is fitting in where it fits in. It lets me feel a little less frazzled. I don’t have to worry about art. Let me go get the dishes done now because I have time for them later. So whether you’re either a Type-A person, which I am so like self-proclaimed like type A, or who loves the routines or what we like to call the type B, who does not want the routine. It makes you feel boxed in. Just replace the word routine with rhythm. Okay? It is a flow and a rhythm of your home. It is not have to be done in a certain order. And we’ll talk a little bit about that misconception in a little bit, okay.

*Cara Harvey * (00:06:23) – But the routines really do matter. So so how do we get everyone on board? How do we get everyone to help without feeling like you’re ripping your hair out? Like you’re the only one? Who is even saying, let’s do this thing. So we’re gonna talk about family missions, talking about communication and how to scaffold the changes. These are some of the big changes we made in our home. That allowed me to go from feeling so frustrated that I was, quote, doing it all, to actually feeling empowered in my home and giving my family a voice too, because I am a control freak. Like I will let you know. Like I’m not gonna even pretend I like things done my way, but. But you instead can have everybody on board, right? So let’s talk about starting with a family mission statement. I love doing this. No matter how old your kids are, I would say, sit down with your kids. Sit down with your partners. Any of your home stakeholders have a family meeting, involve snacks.

*Cara Harvey * (00:07:18) – Make it fun. It doesn’t have to be this thing, which is what we do, right? We sit down, we’re like, mama’s decided these are our new routines. No. Instead, be like, all right, everybody, let’s pick out everyone’s favorite snack. We’re going to go to target. You pick your favorite snack out, and we’re going to have a little vision party together where we kind of talk about what we want as a family. This is really at the heart of all of this, because if we can identify what matters to us, then we can make routines that matter to us, not just because we see someone on Instagram who has this beautiful after school routine that maybe doesn’t fit. My kids play lots of sports and activities. We are very busy. It works for our family and we’ve decided that we have days off obviously, but really we’re moving more than we’re not and we have decided that that’s important to us as a family to be active and be doing things and being social.

*Cara Harvey * (00:08:05) – That might not work for your family. Okay. And for me, we eat dinner at 5:00, so some of these after school routines don’t always work for us. So what does your family want? Here are some good guiding questions. Right. And you know, take a screenshot of of this page if it helps. What are the words that describe your family. And I think this is a fun place to start. Right. Like what are your strengths. Right. What is the purpose of what we’re doing together as a family? Why are we here? Right. And I think it’s a question we don’t ask ourselves a lot, and it’s a fun question we can get an answer to. If our home could be filled with one feeling, what would it be like? What would you like that to feel like? What makes you want to be home right? Like what makes you want to come home from school and even ask the opposite, right? I was a teacher for ten years. Right? So example non example.

*Cara Harvey * (00:08:48) – What makes you not want to come home. And I had this conversation with my husband about this as well. You know like he and he said you know you’re home working all day. And then as soon as I come home it feels like, you know, I have to like, jump right in. But I also need some decompression time as well. Like, can we come up with a better solution? Right. So just having that conversation, what would you want people to say about our family. And then these are some fun questions. Like as a family we’re at our best or worst. And and what makes us unique with this allows us to do is then kind of create some family values and then even take it and make it a mission statement around what our family stands for. And once you’ve got that, then you can filter the routines through that lens. It’s kind of like the concept of the word of the year, where you pick a word to filter through. If you don’t know what your family even wants, it’s very easy to start to say, we have to do this, this and this because I see it on social media.

*Cara Harvey * (00:09:37) – I hear this person doing it well. How about instead you sit with your family and you ask them, like, what’s our family stand for? And it’s a really fun thing. We do this once a year as we kind of go into the new year, where we pick our goals and things like that, but you can do it at any time. All right. Here is the thing I want to tell you before we move to this next part. Compromise, communication and consistency are needed in all relationships, not just your romantic ones. And that includes with your children. Okay, I know that we’re the parent. I know that I am here to keep my kids safe and to grow them into being great adults. That’s part of my job, and I believe that. But I also believe that they are people with their own feelings and that they can have them. It does not mean that their feeling is going to trump what a rule is in our home. But I can take it into consideration and I just want to encourage you as a mom.

*Cara Harvey * (00:10:23) – I know it’s hard because we want things done our way on our time when we say it. I’m not even going to pretend that I’m not like that, right? Like when I say to my husband, hey, do this. I don’t mean in 20 minutes. Like I’m like, let’s do it right now. Again, working on it, right? Imperfect human here. But can we own that? Can we own that? Maybe we could compromise a little more when it comes to our kids. This is where I want you to slowly scaffold in changes, routines and habits. We want to do the thing. We have the big family meeting. We say, here’s our afterschool routine, here’s our evening routine, and we come up with 12 things. And then everybody gets overwhelmed and nobody wants to do it. When you slowly start to change things in your routines, in your home, it has a few benefits. One is most of the time, like they don’t even notice. We’re going to add one thing in.

*Cara Harvey * (00:11:07) – If you add it in two hours of an evening routine, or a morning routine or a chore routine, they’re going to notice. But if you pick one, if you’re like, before we go to bed, we brush our teeth like that one thing we pick out our clothes for the next day. We make our lunches. Just pick one thing they might not even notice because you’re not making it. Quote a thing. My husband jokes with me that I make everything a quote thing. So if you don’t decide this big grandiose statement, they have to change everything. Instead you say, okay, let’s add one thing in. When you start to add too many things in at once, it is more of a power struggle than anything else, all right? And it doesn’t set them up for success. It sets them up for failure. And also, you’re the one who has to remember it, right? You’re the one who has to remember. Oh, right. I said we were going to wash our face before bed.

*Cara Harvey * (00:11:54) – This is a new one with my daughter. She’s eight. She wants to start watching her face. This is where we’re at. I’m the one who has to remind her to do it. So it’s another thing on my plate. The other thing I want to encourage you is. When you come up to make these routines with your family, you can come up with the things you want them to do. But don’t worry about the order. I always share this example because I again control freak trying to work on it, right? And this is so timely because it happened this morning. My kids have the three. They have the three things they have to do in the morning. And now all I have to say to them is, did you do your three? I’m not nagging. I’m not. Whatever I’m like, are the three done? Like, don’t put the TV, they can have the TV in the morning once you’re three are done. But don’t you know we’re not doing tech or anything.

*Cara Harvey * (00:12:33) – Just do your three and they’re three are have breakfast and clean it up. Get dressed and brush their teeth. That is all I require of them in the morning. And my kids wake up early enough that if they just did those things, they could literally have over an hour with television or the switch or whatever they want in the morning before school. Okay. And in the beginning, I was very much like, you need to do it in a certain order. Clearly, I want my son to brush his teeth before he gets dressed. Right? Because what’s going to happen is exactly what happened this morning. He is then covered in toothpaste and then I’m like, can you go change your shirt? Right. And then it becomes another thing. But what I learned was when I took that away, when I took the you must do it in this order. And I gave him the autonomy to decide the order. He fights with me less. So all I have to say is, did you do your three? And my daughter has has identified for me.

*Cara Harvey * (00:13:20) – She was like, no, I didn’t brush my teeth yet. I like to finish my breakfast first, which makes sense in my head, but I allow her to figure that out. I do not care the order that it’s done. My son, he likes to get dressed first. Sometimes the piece is bed, so that’s why he does it. Sometimes it’s just the first thing he thinks of. I would prefer he didn’t get dressed first, but honestly, ask yourself what is the actual end goal? The goal is that he does the thing. So release the. I must control all of it slowly. Bring some things in. Okay? And allow yourself to release the control. Your job as the parent is to bring the vision and say, hey, what? What’s the morning routine? This is my ideal is what do you want to do and teach and instruct them to do it? It’s not to hold their hand in every step for years. It’s not to stand behind them and say, you did that wrong, right? That’s not going to help them.

*Cara Harvey * (00:14:09) – It’s to teach, to guide and to release. I know it’s hard to imagine, but summer is coming and it is time to get the summer planning underway. I’m hosting my annual Summer Planning challenge, where we’re going to go through and use my Four Seasons method to make sure that there are times in your summer where you’re having fun, where you’re resting, where you’re planning, and then where you’re pushing to work on fun passion projects and also getting the work done that you need to get done to run your home. If you have a business or your job. Imagine having a time where instead of trying to get everything done, you have joy in your summer. You spend time with your kids. You’re not just scrambling all the time to play catch up, but actually doing what feels aligned to you. Summer can feel like a really stressful time if you’re not used to having the kids home. Everything is different. You have to occupy them or not occupy them. And I know that you feel a bit scrambled.

*Cara Harvey * (00:15:03) – I am hosting my annual Summer Planning Challenge. The 2024 Summer Planning Challenge starts and kicks off on the 28th of May, right after Labor Day, where we are going to go through and make a schedule. What do you want it to look like? We’re going to make themes and seasons. We’re going to pick goals that are aligned to you, and for just $27, you will get lifetime access to this content. So you can watch it again next summer. You can go through it at your own time and leisure, and we’re also going to make it fun. If you’ve never joined a challenge with me before, I love to gamify, I love prizes, and we do a great job of just making the community sparkle because it can be so stressful and lonely. As a mom. If you want to get your ticket or check out more information, you can just head over to a Purpose Driven Mom. Com slash summer planning 24. That’s a purpose driven romcoms. Summer planning 24. Grab your ticket again.

*Cara Harvey * (00:15:51) – It’s only $27 lifetime access. We’ve got a lot of bonuses. Some good things for you to help amplify your summer and make it feel joyful and aligned and whatever you would like it to feel like. Hope to see you there. A purpose driven mom.com/summer planning 24. So what are some things they can do? So I’m going to give you some ideas. And I don’t want you to feel like you have to do them all now, but maybe pick one of these from each category that you’re like, I think I’d like to add these in, okay. And don’t add all of them. You might want them to do all four or or more one at a time. So what are some things your kids could do around the house? Laundry. My kids do their own laundry. And we it took us a while to get there again. Six, 817 we’ve changed the way we did it. We used to do it where everyone had a laundry day and was in charge. And then honestly, we just don’t have they share a room.

*Cara Harvey * (00:16:40) – We don’t have room for two laundry baskets in their room. So everything was getting confused. So we changed our laundry habit to now one of my kids. They have a day where they do their laundry. One of my kids goes ahead and is in charge of putting in the washer. The other one is in charge of putting it in the dryer. Whoever didn’t put it in the washer puts it in the dryer. They both must put their laundry away. They do it together, okay? And it’s one day a week and it works out. This allows them to get control. Now this is one where I’m definitely supervising still. And I like the concept of I do we do you do right. It’s a gradual release of responsibility. So for a while I showed them how to do it. I, I mean they watched me, they watched me do the laundry, watch me. Then we did it together. And then we get to the point where they can do it on their own. Now they are still six and eight.

*Cara Harvey * (00:17:25) – I still supervise them. Okay. My daughter knows how to put the detergent in. My son knows how to do the dryer, but I still supervise because, you know, machinery and all. So what can your kids do? Pick something from their pick a laundry routine, cleaning up around your house, your kids, no matter what age, can help. And honestly, the younger the better because they like to do it. It’s fun. We use 15 minute pickups to signify transitions in our homes. We have a basket on the bottom of our stairs, so each of everyone has a basket in my home. So if you find something that’s like downstairs that needs to go upstairs, it just goes in your basket and at the end of the night you empty your basket. It’s just part of the routine. All right. Start slowly with them. Ask them which of these do they want to do. Same with things like coats, shoes and bags. When my kids were little, we had a song I can’t sing, but I will sing it for you in a second.

*Cara Harvey * (00:18:13) – Where I was tired of being like, give me your coat, hang up your coat, put your bag, put your shoes away. And so I would just sing. Coats in the closet, shoes in the bin, coats in the closet, shoes in the bin on repeat until they did it. And eventually they just figured, oh, coats in the closet. All right, here we go. Here we go. Right. We made it a little bit more fun. But here’s the thing I want to tell you about coats in the closet and shoes in the bin. And this goes with any routine. If you don’t have a place for the coats or a place for the shoes or the toys or whatever, the kids are not going to know where to put them. So if you are saying go pick up your room, this was a mistake I made to my kids. I mean, go clean up your room, but if they don’t know where to put stuff, if there isn’t a Lego bin or a stuffed animal bin or a doll bin, they don’t know where to put it.

*Cara Harvey * (00:18:54) – You have to create spaces for them to put it okay, and then also household tasks, sweeping, dusting, stuff like that. We have the rule here. Everybody lives here. Everybody helps. My kids have basic chores that they do because they live here, including laundry, putting away your clothes, cleaning up after yourself. My kids also get paid. For doing jobs. Jobs are things that are not their basic responsibilities that take things off someone else’s plate. My son, my six year old, he grabs all the trash cans around the house on Sundays and brings them to my husband so he can take out the trash. Okay, my daughter loves to spray, so she does the windows. or dusting. Things like that. This takes it off my plate now. Some weeks I do it or don’t do it because I’m not very good at cleaning. So if she doesn’t do it, tends not to happen. Fine with me. But if she wants to do that. So if it takes it off her plate, she gets a dollar.

*Cara Harvey * (00:19:44) – Okay, so do it however works for you. But again, don’t pick all, pick some. I’m going to pause to invite you to something brand new we’re doing here at TM, ePDM, and that is the very first in-person, purpose driven Mom conference. September 28th and 29th. I am hosting an event right here in Philadelphia that you can attend where we can be together live. The goal of this conference is to help you decide what dreams you want to work on, what goals matter to you, and to really embrace the person you are. Now, in motherhood, we’re going to spend time mapping out the end of your year, creating time blocks for you to work on these dreams and goals. And I have three incredible guest speakers coming to help you embrace and love your mom life journey and go after your goals and dreams. This event is been on my heart for years, and if you go to a purpose driven romcom conference, you can hear and read all about it. And I want to let you know that this event will sell out.

*Cara Harvey * (00:20:43) – We will be capping around 60 attendees, so as soon as it sells out, it is done. I want you to head to a purpose driven rom com slash conference, or check out the show notes for the link and come join us in Philadelphia. We are going to have the most incredible experience. It is in September. You have enough time to plan to make it happen, to tell a friend, we cannot wait to see you at the Purpose Driven Mom conference and have some in real life time together again. That’s September 28th and 29th, and you can go to a purpose driven rom com slash conference to learn more. All right. So things that they can help with at meal times. All right. So what are some things that you can start getting them helping with. Cooking is a huge one. My kids love to help out in the kitchen. So we got them kids safe knives. I have some choppers. I am starting to teach them certain cooking things that they can do, all right? And the more they are involved.

*Cara Harvey * (00:21:32) – I made meatloaf for dinner last night. my daughter helped me. She was so excited to smush up all the meat. Right. It got to dinner, and she was excited to eat the meatloaf because she made it. Okay, so it really can be that thing. The cleaning up, dishes teach some personal responsibility, right? Cleaning up, in my opinion, should not be everyone watches mom clean. That’s not what this is. This is. This is your dish. This is where it goes. My kids struggle with this one a lot because they struggle to sit at the dinner table. So they just want to get up and run. So we have to constantly remind them, hey. You’re in charge of your plate. Okay? My kids love to help with the groceries. So is this a family routine you could create? when we go to the store, right. We have a list now that my kids can read, I Instacart almost everything now, so they just really help with putting things away.

*Cara Harvey * (00:22:22) – My daughter loves to open the boxes and, like, decant things and put them in the little containers and then also just make a meal routine for yourself. We always start with our three, so you pick your three for the day. So any three things it could because we used to do highs and lows and I was like, you know, maybe you didn’t have any lows today. Like just what are three things that happened in your day? It really can help create routines in your homes. And it can also create things like transition time. My kids know that they don’t get tech until after dinner in our home, and a lot of nights we have activities so they know if we can sit, have dinner, talk to each other. They can have a little bit of tech before they go to activities. They know it’s time to go. So pick a couple routines from what I’m saying and think, how can I incorporate these into my home? I do think there’s something to say about having fun routines.

*Cara Harvey * (00:23:12) – Having playtime routines. I don’t love to play play in fun or not in my nature. Please don’t ask me to play Barbies with you because you’re just going to tell me I’m doing it wrong and I don’t want to get yelled at. But if you want to play a board game, if you want to do a puzzle or a craft like I’m your girl, right? I have to sometimes force myself to do this. So I do want to encourage you to create routines in your home around things like play with transitions. I always use a 15 minute pickup and this really helped when my kids were littler and I was home with them. So if you have small people, preschool age and younger, this was so big for me was put one thing away. Like we clean up the playroom before we move to the living room, before we go to the library, before we go outside. It allowed to create a routine of, all right, we’re going to go outside and blow bubbles, but we need to do our pickup.

*Cara Harvey * (00:24:01) – And we made it fun. We put on music, we would have a dance party. Let’s see how much we can get picked up before the song ends. We also did a lot of reading and created reading routines. I’m a huge reader and so we have a lot of routines that now my kids. I found my daughter yesterday. I was looking for her and she was in my closet. She had brought stuffed animals, about six books. she’s eight again and just sitting in my closet, she’s like, I created a reading corner, just sitting there reading. And so I always like to throw reading routines in there. Start small couple minutes a day, have your kids watch you read. Also, but can you create a reading routine? And again, if when you’re starting to create routines, don’t feel like you have to start with the cleaning, don’t feel like you have to start with the toothbrush. Start with the fun. Hey, let’s have a routine of a date night once, once a week I do a date with someone each of my family each month, so it is normally one a week, but it could be two a week, whatever it is.

*Cara Harvey * (00:24:53) – But I’ll take my daughter out and we’ll go do something together. Or my son, or we’ll go have a time where we have a date night in and we play a game. Make it a fun routine. Routines are just things that you do kind of repetitively. They don’t have to always be so structured and strict. All right. The other thing I want to encourage is like creating boundaries around like I mentioned, routines are on tech. I gave you some suggestions there. My kids just have time. Like they just know I don’t want them on the tech as soon as they come home from school. Like, I get it, you’ve been at school day, but like just know, just take a couple minutes and then you can have the TV later in the morning. I said as long as they do their three they can have tech. I do not care. I also put timers on their tablets so once their time is up, it’s up. And I think this really helps them with saying how they can budget their tech time.

*Cara Harvey * (00:25:37) – I don’t care God like watch your your video, play your game. But as soon as your timer’s up it’s up. And that’s a decision that you make. And then again, scheduling family time, game nights and fun things. We have a, you know, a Friday game night. It’s fun for all of us. We get to spend time together and in busy seasons, do we stick to it? No, not all the time. But it’s knowing that we have those routines really help. Okay, and then just a couple last final routine tips. Having a morning routine. Right. Quiet time for you making a plan so that your day is less rushed. That throws our mornings off when I am like, find your shoes. Can’t find the shoes. I’m. Yeah, when when I have to yell before school. It’s just starts us off on the wrong foot. So I try as hard as I can to not do those things. So we started with creating our morning routines because I thought if I can get my morning together, that would be great.

*Cara Harvey * (00:26:26) – So create a routine in the morning that saves you time, you know, and helps. But in order to create a good morning routine, I highly suggest a strong evening routine. Closing out your day, setting up I make I always make my lunches. I don’t care how tired I am. I make all the kids lunches at night. Why? I don’t want to do it in the morning. Anything I can take away from the morning. Clothes are picked out before they go to bed. Book bags are packed. Anything that I don’t have to do in the morning is a gift, because I don’t want my morning to feel rushed, because I feel like that sets my and my kids off on a really bad tone for the day. So have a strong closeout routine. Make bedtime easier, more predictable with what you have to do. And then this is just a. Couple things on boundaries and consistencies, like just just make some boundaries with your kids around certain things personal space, physical boundaries. It helps create the routines.

*Cara Harvey * (00:27:14) – I use this phrase with my kids a lot. Do you want to try that again when they break my boundaries with things? Or if they’re, you know, if my son, my is in this phase where he sneaks the remote, even though it’s not tech time, he will just sneak the remote and I’ll remind him, great. So come back at 530 and then you can watch TV. I’m like, but we don’t need to sneak it and we don’t need to hide it. You can have it at 530. It’s no big deal. I don’t even limit how long they watch. You just have to wait a little bit. I just want you to not be obsessed with it. So just creating those boundaries and then also being as consistent as you can. Right. This is really for us staying firm with what we say. It helps them know this is the schedule, the routine. But remember, no matter what schedules, routines, rhythms and flows you make in your home, they don’t have to be the same.

*Cara Harvey * (00:27:56) – They don’t have to look the same every day. If you know that in a three hour block, you want to get these three things done, it doesn’t have to be in that order. You can do them all right away. You can spread them out. You can have you have the power there. All right. It is up to you. It’s up to us as mom, I think a lot of times to create the home but don’t feel overwhelmed with with trying to do it all at once. Okay? You have a lifetime with your family. Decide what matters to you. Which of these things pull out to you in this season, and slowly enroll them in the vision so that you can create routines that let you feel less stressed, more empowered, and just happier in your home. Okay let’s connect. I’m over on Instagram at a purpose of her mom. You can go to the 15 minute formula.com/free grab my book. I’d love to answer your questions. Thanks for hanging out today. And go ahead and pick one thing today.

*Cara Harvey * (00:28:37) – Go after your routines. Thanks so much for listening to this episode of The Purpose Driven Mom Show. If this episode served you in any way, we would really appreciate it if you headed over to wherever you listen to podcast, hit that five star and leave a review and a rating. That’s how more moms can find us and we can grow our community. If you had a tip or an Make sure you come over and tag me at a Purpose Driven Mom on Instagram and share it with your friends. The best way for us to get this message out there of less hustle and less shame and more intentionality, is for you to share it with people you know need to hear it. Thanks for listening. We appreciate you and I can’t wait to connect with you more outside of the podcast.

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