Handling Unexpected Summer Situations

A Purpose Driven Mom Podcast

Episode 410

Are you a busy mom who is getting ready for the summer break? In this episode of the Purpose Driven Mom Show, Cara Harvey shares her insights on juggling work and family during the unpredictable summer months.

The summer months can be an unpredictable and hectic time. The kids are home from school, there are plenty of activities and you still need to work. Cara emphasizes the need to adapt to changes that happen. The best thing to do is proactively plan for the unexpected like last minute activities and weather. One way is to make a rainy day list for the family so you’re prepared if the weather is not ideal. Activities like the library or the movie theater are great ways to keep the kids busy but also entertained.

Cara shares how important it is to take care of yourself during the busy summer months. It will help you stay calm and flexible when it comes to dealing with unexpected events. Take breaks where you can and find ways to recharge alone. Whether it’s going for daily walks, working out, or doing a fun hobby, find something to balance out your busy schedule.

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Episode Highlights:

  • 01:48 Adapting Work Schedule for Summer¬†
  • 03:44 Handling Unexpected Changes
  • 15:35 Self-Care and Stress Management
  • 16:20 Accepting Help from Others¬†
  • 17:55 Learning to be Flexible¬†
  • 18:42 Proactive Planning¬†

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Transcript: Handling Unexpected Summer Situations

Cara Harvey (00:00:03) – Welcome to the Purpose Driven Moms show here at A Purpose Driven Mom, we believe that it’s possible to manage your home, work on your personal goals, and grow and scale an online business. Most productivity tips out there tell you to hustle more and make you feel shame about not being motivated enough. And we’re here to dispel this myth. I’m Kara Harvey and I am on a mission to help work at home. Moms realize that they have the power to go after their dreams, take care of themselves, and manage their home without perfectionism, guilt, or having to sacrifice their sleep. If you’re ready to shift your thinking around productivity and get some practical tips to help you manage your mom life, toss your earbuds in while you fold the laundry. And let’s do this! Welcome to the Purpose of Your Mom Show episode 410. Today we’re going to talk about being flexible. A mom’s favorite thing to do. Just kidding. I can’t stand having to be flexible. But guess what? My kids don’t care. They don’t care about my schedule, or my plans or my work or what I want to get done.

Cara Harvey (00:00:59) – So I want to give you some tips. Now that we’re in the summer on how to navigate the unexpected, the stuff that just kind of pops up. We’ll talk a little bit today about proactive strategies versus reactive strategies, and how you can maybe reframe the way you’re thinking about it. Because here’s what I know about summer. It can feel super duper stressful, right? Summer can be one of those times where you feel like you have everything under control, but maybe you don’t. All of a sudden the kids are home. The schedule is changed. We were going to go on this trip, but now we’re going on this trip and I’m not sure where to go from here. I want you to go into this episode with an open mind. All right? I want you to go in thinking, what can I do to be more flexible while also enjoying my summer? Being able to adapt in the summer is going to keep you calm. I know that we want to control everything and I get it.

Cara Harvey (00:01:48) – I have work to do, right? I told my kids mom is working this summer. My work schedule is just going to look a little different, so I’m pretty much keeping my meetings and the other times I’m going to keep off. So I will be working Mondays from 9 to 12. I will be working Tuesdays from 11 to 3, and then I will working Fridays from 12 to 3. I’m trying my best to keep Wednesdays and Thursdays off if I can. My kids are going to camp some weeks they’re not going to camp every week. And then also on top of all of this, we have a couple of trips. We have two trips planned. So there’s a lot of moving parts. And this requires me to not be married to the schedule and the routines that I stuck with during the school year, and that can be mentally challenging. So can we talk about that elephant in the room? Put it out there. Now I want you to enjoy your summer, right? Like I want you to feel empowered to have a good summer while simultaneously working on your goals.

Cara Harvey (00:02:43) – But when you’re holding tight to your chest what you think your schedule is supposed to look like, you will get very frustrated. I remember during the pandemic when everybody was home, I was getting so irritated with my entire family because I’m trying to work and this is the schedule I want to have and this is the time I like to do things. Fast forward, my husband has been working from home. if you’ve been listening for a bit, he got in a car accident on Christmas this year. He didn’t have a car for like three months, so he worked from home. In my space, I was like, this is my space. This is where I like to work. It was really frustrating, and I found myself getting annoyed because I wanted things my way. With everyone home this summer, you can plan and make routines and things like that, but stuff is still going to pop up. So I just want to encourage you as you go into the summer, allow it to pop up. Know that just because your schedule doesn’t go the way you want it to, just because you don’t cross everything off your to do list, just because you had a plan to take the kids to the pool this day and it rained, right? Like that’s going to happen.

Cara Harvey (00:03:44) – It doesn’t mean you’re a bad mom. It doesn’t mean you don’t know how to make a schedule. It doesn’t mean you have to burn everything down. you ever have those days, you’re just like, screw the schedule. Like I can’t even care anymore. You can get back on track. Which is kind of why I love time blocking. Right? Like you could do it in small, little in little chunks so you can get back on track after each time block. But I just want to encourage you and let you know it’s going to happen. I’ve got a brand new freebie for you to go and check out, and it is a time blocking planner. A super simple sheet that you can use to use micro pins, plus time blocking to get things done. This summer when everything feels overwhelming or honestly, you’re just unmotivated and want to go sit by the pool. You can go to Purpose Driven Mom sometime blocking, and that’ll bring you to this absolutely free principal planner that you can use. There’s a video that goes along with my top time blocking tips, and helps you figure out how to get your schedule moving and grooving.

Cara Harvey (00:04:33) – That’s a purpose driven romcom. Time blocking. You’re going to have the times and the moments where it doesn’t go perfectly and stuff will change. That is okay. So today you and I are going to sit and talk about how do you pre-emptively get there? How do you get to a place where you can handle the stuff that happens in the summer when it throws you off? And what do you do? How do you get back on track when you had a work task list? Maybe, right? I don’t know what your work schedule looks like in the summer, but I’m still working, right? I’m still showing up and the schedule I gave you, that’s just like, that’s when I have calls. So I’m going to try to do my calls. And then in that chunk, I’m going to sit and work at the computer so I can turn my brain off, sit by the pool when I want to, but I’m going to have more work to do. Some weeks I’m going to have less work to do.

Cara Harvey (00:05:20) – My kids might get sick. Something might happen, right? The weather is going to be a big one for the summer, so let’s talk through it. Okay, so let’s talk about weather first. I know that we have these great plans. I don’t know where you live and what the weather’s like, but I live in, outside Philadelphia. The weather is really summer here. It’s beautiful. Honestly, where I live, we could drive to the mountains. We could drive to the beaches. We can go hiking. we can go kayaking. Like we could do anything in this area. It’s why I love living here. We have all four seasons, but I will have plans to do things. And because it’s hot, it will rain. It will thunderstorm. We have a pool, which is honestly, it was a non-negotiable. We moved here and I’m so thankful that we have one, because what this allows us to do is like, hey, go outside and go swim. But what if you have plans? Like what do you do? I’m going to suggest that you proactively make a rainy day list now.

Cara Harvey (00:06:07) – So I made my kids an on board list for the summer. And this has all the things that when they come to me and they say I’m bored if it’s not tech time. So one of the things that really helps me working from home with them, home in the summer when they’re not at camps and things, is having a time block schedule for them so they know when mommy’s working, when mommy’s not working, we have a couple boundaries and rules. You’ve you might have heard me talk about these before. Closed door. If my door is closed right now, it’s closed. Even the out of habits, no one is home. But if it’s a closed door, that means you cannot come in, right? Mommy is recording or coaching or things like that. If the door is open, then you’re more than welcome to come in while mommy’s working. Okay, so that works for us. But we also pre identify when they can have their tech. I put timers on all my kids tech except the television.

Cara Harvey (00:06:49) – We have a code on ours because I just, I don’t want my kids on YouTube. It’s just a thing in my home. no shame or whatever if you do, but they’re not permitted on YouTube, so we have a couple of channels that have codes on them. They have to ask for for the TV to be turned on. But I’m not anti TV. I’m not into tech. My kids have tablets, they have TVs, they have a switch. But we say this is when tech time is versus not tech time. And that really helps the one asking all the time. But I also made them the on board list. So when they are coming to me and it’s a regular time, maybe I’m working, maybe I’m not working. Like I’m finally at the point where I don’t feel like I have to entertain my kids. I remember, oh my goodness, when my daughter and she was a baby, I would just sit and stare at her. Oh my gosh, like, what is she doing? What is she doing for hours? Because I was afraid to leave the room.

Cara Harvey (00:07:30) – My husband had to be like, you know, you can leave like her alone in the room while she’s like taking a nap, like it was first time moms, you know what I’m saying? Right? So I don’t have to entertain them. So maybe I’m doing something, working on one of my goals amount and my guardian or whatever. I make an on board list to help them out. What if you also proactively make right now a rainy day list? So say we had plans to go to the park. What are you going to do if that plan gets cancelled and this can work for changes in weather. This can work in just cancelled plans or impromptu outing like anything that changes it. Having this list in advance can help. So we’re supposed to meet up friends and go to the Lego place, or we’re going to go to the playground, or the library, or the amusement park where it’s raining and we can’t do these things anymore. What can we do instead? And by having a list of rainy day activities for the summer really helps me, or maybe even honestly to hot days.

Cara Harvey (00:08:21) – Like, I know we have a pool, but sometimes it gets just too hot and I don’t like sitting at the pool like indoor activities. Create your list proactively. Now. The library is always my go to if it’s raining. I don’t know if you have a regal cinema by you, but Regal Cinemas around here every summer they do the $2 movies on Tuesdays and Wednesday mornings, so you could go to the movies. I mentioned the Lego place. We have a Lego experience around here. The trampoline park, bowling, etc. come up with a list now. Our brains struggle, right? That fight or flight happens when things pop up. Things change for us and we don’t know how to manage or handle them. What if, instead, you proactively made your plan before you needed it? That’s like part of my whole process that I teach in the Purpose Driven Math Club, right? Go to a Purpose driven mom.com/club, get on that wait list for our next cohort opening at the end of the summer.

Cara Harvey (00:09:08) – But this is what I teach. Proactively handling it before you need it is going to allow you to feel more in control of your time. So. Here’s what I want to encourage you to do. Come up with your list. Now, I’m sure there’s bloggers and people in your area. You could just Google them. Have the list. Now, the other thing that really also helps me just talking about like, not flexibility yet, but like the on board is having a summer bucket list if you haven’t created one, I got one on Etsy. So our third summer in a row, they make a holiday one. It’s beautiful. It’s calendar’s like 15 bucks oversized and we can plan our summer out. And it has a bunch of just simple, not always expensive things like getting ice cream or building a sandcastle or going to the playground, taking a walk. Bubbles, chalk. But it also has like go to the carnival or, you know, swim at the lake. I don’t know, stuff like that too.

Cara Harvey (00:09:58) – And it always gives us some ideas. So creating that bucket list now will allow you to be like, all right, well you know what? Today we were going to go to the beach, but the weather really isn’t here. Why don’t you go look at the list and pick something else you want to do? This way you don’t have to do all the mental labor, but also they can feel like they’re part of the choice. And then you’re not being like, oh my gosh, what am I going to do, right? On a pause really quickly to invite you to an absolutely free workshop I am hosting called From Dream to Reality. It is a mom Preneur Business Planning Absolutely free webinar, and it’s going to teach you how to use the planning pathway framework to figure out how to break down your business goals and make your business dreams a reality. You go to a purpose driven, romcom slash dream to reality so that you can get your seat and the replay in case you can attend. What we’re going to be covering in this time is talking through your business idea how you can take it from in your head something you’re thinking about to actual creation.

Cara Harvey (00:10:55) – The Planning Pathway framework talks about who you want to help and what this looks like, where this fits into your goals. Hey, maybe you want to have a podcast this year. Write a book. Start a new course. Where should you put that in your year? We’re also going to get how it’s going to happen and talk about the breakdown of the goals, and then what it’s going to look like when it all comes together. In this free workshop, I’m going to teach you this framework. So whether you’re somebody who has a business who’s been trying to figure out how to make it work, how to monetize it, you’re going to want to attend, or if you’re somebody who’s thinking you might want to start a business in 2024, I’m going to invite you to come attend this free workshop where you can learn how to take your business dream from inside your head to making it a reality and creating a plan. Go to a purpose driven romcoms. Dream to reality to get your absolute free seat before we kick off on February 8th.

Cara Harvey (00:11:41) – Now, the other thing that I want to talk about though, because you might be working from home like me, is like, what do I do when stuff gets extra with work? I mentioned that I have my work hours planned for myself. I will work outside of those. Now. The other thing I will say is those are my planned work hours, but my kids are also signed up for camp five weeks this summer. So I signed my kids up for camp for five weeks. Not up for camp for five weeks. It actually might be six and four. I have no, I think it’s five and five this year. Again, I love this because I don’t want them at camp every week because I want them home. I want to go to the beach too. I want to sit at the pool. I want to enjoy time with my kids. Our school year is so full and we love the way it is, but I want to time off with them as well. So the weeks that they’re at camp, I have already pre-planned my task.

Cara Harvey (00:12:25) – I’m moving. That’s my push week. If they’re at camp from 9 to 4, you better believe I’m going to maximize it. I still will probably take Wednesday or Thursday off because I enjoy time off. One of the things I made for myself this year that I’ve kept, I would give myself a B-minus. On it is Thursdays off. I wanted to give myself one day off so that I could go do appointments, have coffee dates with friends and things like that. And I typically stick with those. Now, today’s Thursday, I’m recording this podcast episode. Why? Because I’m going for coffee with a friend tomorrow. On Friday morning I just moved things around so I still want to have time off, but there will be times where I need to work outside of my planned scheduled. However you want to say it. You know it’s funny when you make your own schedule like schedule but planned work hours. You know, I picked my workout was based on what I have calls. So Mondays I have three calls back to back from 9 to 12.

Cara Harvey (00:13:12) – So that’s perfect. Tuesdays I have two calls back to back and Fridays I have one call. So I picked my work around the stuff I cannot change, but there’s going to be times I have to work outside of it. Instead of getting frustrated and saying, oh, this project popped up that I have to work on, or I have to go record this podcast episode, or this client needs this thing for me. It’s taking me away from the plan time I have with my kids and such a bad mom. Sometimes we just have to embrace it. I like to have buffer time always in my schedule for things, but I will be scheduling a buffer time once a week for work. This way stuff pops up. It’ll probably honestly be Friday mornings because I’m already planning on working on Fridays, so it’s actually would be good for me to be like, all right, Friday mornings, I might get some work done. That way I can have all day Thursday off to do like day long activities, or it might be at night.

Cara Harvey (00:13:59) – I don’t love to work at night, but sometimes it just has to happen. A lot of times, what this looks like for me and kind of navigating around that unexpected of something popped up. Or honestly, sometimes I just get excited about a work project and I want to keep working on it. I’ll take my computer outside and I sit in and work at the pool, or I’ll work. We have like a little patio table. My kids. Thankfully, the summer is going to be so nice. We are at the age where they can both stand in the pool. We have a very large aboveground pool. It’s four feet and has a deck all around it. So kind of like has that in-ground pool feeling. and it takes up most of our yard there. Finally, both can swim. They can both stand. No, I don’t let my kids swim without me out there. So I always so again, if they want to swim, I have to be like in a pool mood. But for me, like that means I could read my book, or I can bring my laptop and I can sit.

Cara Harvey (00:14:43) – And if you’re watching on YouTube, you could see me, but like I’ll type lookup, type lookup and I’m still there. I can do that. So why don’t you come up now with proactive times when would be good for me? All right. Well, on the weekends or when they’re at camp, maybe. Maybe my buffer time might be all right. Well, they’re at camp this week, but I want to take Thursdays off because that’s like my typical goal. you know what? My buffer time is going to be Thursday afternoons. I won’t take the whole day off. So if I don’t finish something, I still have that time. It allows me to proactively plan. I also want to encourage you to, manage some stress and anxiety. Take care of yourself. Self-care is actually going to be big on helping you be calm and flexible, to deal with the unexpected, right to deal with the trips that might get put on you, or the things you want to do. If stuff is out of our control and if our body is, our nervous system is already heightened because we’re stressed out.

Cara Harvey (00:15:35) – It’s going to be very challenging for us to deal with other things. You ever feel like that, right where you’re like, super stressed out and you just can’t handle anything? And then one more thing gets plopped on top of you taking time for self-care every day. Recharging. Taking breaks this summer will allow you to kind of be a little more calm when those things do happen. All right. the other thing I do recommend is if you have a village, I am very like, I love a good village parenting. And I’m thankful because, you know, my in-laws don’t live too far, but I also have a great set of friends, especially with our Girl Scout parents. It is village parenting, right? All of us feel like, go ahead, correct my kid if you need. If somebody needs a ride, if somebody needs help. My friend today we were just talking about the summer, and she’s put in our little chat with a couple of us and she said, hey, listen, I am going to be home.

Cara Harvey (00:16:20) – I’m not working this week in the summer, if anybody needs childcare help, let me know. And like, that’s the kind of community like we all have. Like, yeah, I’ll take your kid. Whatever. I’m. And I know that not everyone has it, but if you do, can you come up with a plan around that? Do you can you swap with somebody if you have another mom friend that works from home? Hey, listen, can you take the kids from 9 to 12 to play at your house so I can have focused work time and I’ll take them from 12 to 3 or whatever it is, because we know that that focus work time is where things are going to happen. So I want you to think outside the box. I want you to start to think now and set up the childcare, and also be open to accepting that help. If someone offers, like my friend offered. And I immediately felt guilty and was like, no, I can’t, she already has four kids, I’m sure she’ll have more kids there.

Cara Harvey (00:17:05) – I can’t do that. Stop, I said to myself. Kara, she offered, if I really need to get work done, I do not need to be supermom. I can take them over there and get them help, right? That’s really, really important. And so I think that we also need to be open to taking the help that’s given and not feeling like we have to do everything. As we close out this episode and again, I’ll show notes are going to be at a Purpose Driven mom.com/podcast for ten. I want to encourage you to think about these unexpected things that pop up that might challenge you this summer as just that. Challenges and opportunities for growth. This is an opportunity for you to change your narrative. I am a very serious, structured, rigid person. Like that is my personality and it’s so funny. Today I was within my esthetician and she and I said something about being very serious. And she’s like, you, like, you seem so lighthearted. And I was like, okay, thanks so much.

Cara Harvey (00:17:55) – I struggle, I try really hard, but I just want to encourage you that learning to be flexible over these past few years, giving myself grace when I couldn’t show up for my goals perfectly, when everything didn’t get crossed off, when, you know, all of a sudden somebody calls and they’re like, hey, I’m in town and I have to move my things around has helped me feel just a lot better. And it’s kind of shut that inner critic up in my head about, you have to be perfect or it doesn’t count. And I want to encourage you. Also, if you’re listening to this, go to a purpose driven romcom slash conference. If you’re struggling with that voice in your head, because in September we’ll be together in person, in real life, talking through all of these things and having the most impactful experience so you can get your your ticket on sale before it gets up to full price, because we’re in pre-sale right now. Purpose driven MLB.com slash conference. But I just want to say this summer is going to be good for you.

Cara Harvey (00:18:42) – Think now what you need to change, what you need to fix, what you need to proactively plan. I think it’s going to help you. Thank you for listening today. Head over and give the podcast a rating or review. It’s been, gosh, a, five year incredible journey with the Purpose Driven Mom show and rating and reviews help other moms find our show. So I appreciate you for listening. Have a wonderful day. Enjoy your week, this week and do something for you. Thanks so much for listening to this episode of The Purpose Driven Mom Show. If this episode served you in any way, we would really appreciate it if you headed over to wherever you listen to podcast, hit that five star and leave a review and a rating. That’s how more moms can find us and we can grow our community. If you had a tip or an Make sure you come over and tag me at a Purpose Driven Mom on Instagram and share it with your friends. The best way for us to get this message out there of less hustle and less shame and more intentionality, is for you to share it with people you know need to hear it.

Cara Harvey (00:19:36) – Thanks for listening. We appreciate you and I can’t wait to connect with you more outside of the podcast.

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