Cara Harvey (00:04.11)

Welcome to the Purpose Driven Mom Show.

Here at A Purpose Driven Mom, we believe that it’s possible to manage your home, work on your personal goals, and grow and scale an online business. Most productivity tips out there tell you to hustle more and make you feel shame about not being motivated enough. And we’re here to dispel this myth. I’m Cara Harby, and I am on a mission to help work-at-home moms realize that they have the power to go after their dreams, take care of themselves, and manage their home without perfectionism, guilt, or having to sacrifice their sleep. If you’re ready to shift your thinking around productivity and get some practical tips to help you manage your mom life,

earbuds in while you fill the laundry. And let’s do this.

Cara Harvey (00:47.512)

for Mom Show episode 499. I’m super excited to share with you a conversation I had with Kate House actually for her podcast, but we got done and I was like, Kate, please give me this because I know my audience needs to hear this right now. We talk about how do you grow your confidence when you feel like you’re failing all the time? How when you show up for tiny steps and tiny little ways for your goals, you will actually achieve more.

And we get raw, open, and honest about what’s going on with our own goals and how we get past that voice in our head that tells us we’re not doing enough. Show notes are over at PurposeDriverMom.com slash podcast 499. Head over, listen to this interview now, and then go check out Kate’s podcast because it’s amazing.

Hey love, welcome to the Owning Her Authority Summit. I am so excited to have you here today. Welcome, welcome.

I’m so pumped to just have continue the conversation. were just saying we like could sit and chat forever before we, you know, get started, but it’s going to be really great to have a focused conversation today to just help empower everybody else.

Exactly. Exactly. Well, for everybody who’s tuning in, maybe they haven’t heard our podcast collabs, our summit collabs, all the things we’ve done together over the years. Can you tell us a little bit about who you are, what you’re all about, and who do you support and serve with the work that you do?

Cara Harvey (02:01.966)

Sure, I’m Kara Harvey. am a productivity life coach specifically for moms and I help work at home moms cross things off their to-do list without feeling scattered and losing themselves along the way. I’m a mom of three. My kids are, we just had birthdays, eight, 10, and 19. And I’m a former school teacher turned, I always say like accidental entrepreneur. I don’t think a lot of us mean to step into this space. I am the host of the Purpose to Be Mom podcast and the author of the book, The 15 Minute Formula. And I have been in this space for about eight years just helping.

moms figure out how they can get the things done that matter to them and have space for their own goals, have space for their work, have space for the things that light them up without hustle and burnout, because I’ve been there multiple times where I’m grinding down to zero and I lose myself along the way. And I realized about eight years ago, I’m sure I’m not the only one. So I kind of stepped into the space to help other moms.

I love that. Well, Carrie, you’ve totally helped me because when I started podcasting, you were already like three, four years into your journey. And I remember the first time we chatted and like, think your book had come out not that long ago. And I was like, yeah, no, that’s like, that’s a direction I would really love to go. And now like here we are at the event launching the book or pre-launching the book. And it’s just really cool to see like the impact that you’ve had not only in your whole community, but like on me personally, like, and inspiring me to be like, wow, like look what.

a mompreneur can do. Like, and I think you’re just such a great example of that. Yeah, I love it. my goodness. Well, so speaking of like mompreneurs, I know a lot of us wear a lot of different hats, right? We’re like, we’re partners, we’re parents potentially, you know, career, all these things. What has like experience been like for you with trying to wear all these different hats? Because I think sometimes there’s this idea that we as speakers have it all together.

Thank you. That’s so sweet.

speaker-1 (03:50.478)

Which makes me giggle because I’m like nope I’m buying the skylight calendar like everybody else out there trying to get my life organized But what what’s that experience been like for you?

Yeah, you know, it’s funny because I talked to some of the women and the moms I coach and stuff and I always tell them like I still struggle with many of the things you struggle with but my bounce back is faster. Like my rebound is faster. Like I’ve learned the tools that like I just came home from a very busy weekend this morning. I literally sat down here and I felt my anxiety rise because I was like my brain does the thing that I’m sure everyone else’s brain does, right? Like I’m so behind. I have all these things to do. Where am I supposed to start? And I was able to like take my own tools

And I just talked to myself and I said, all right, what is the next step? Like what is it? You know, and I just coached myself through it. So it’s, you know, when I started this, I didn’t mean to, right? I was teaching, I left, I went into entrepreneurship via network marketing. I did that. And then when my son was born, I was struggling with both part of anxiety and depression. And I was just feeling that overwhelm of what am I supposed to do? And I went to Google and Pinterest and Instagram, all the places. And all I found was like hustle more.

do more, wake up before your right? The shame based marketing that’s very bro centered that a lot of people live in, right? If you just want it bad enough, and I always tell people, and maybe others can relate, I am a very disciplined person, I’m not motivated. I struggle with motivation and a lot of us do. Because I think we believe that if we just want something badly enough, we will just be motivated to do it. And when we don’t show up, we get down on ourselves.

point is

Cara Harvey (05:25.896)

I could never do this. There’s something wrong with me. What is this? I want this so badly, but I’m not making it happen. It must be because of me. And so that kind of like has been my work at home journey of trying to figure this out. Cause like I have run this business, one kid at preschool, half day, full time, part time, during the pandemic, full time school. I now both of my kids are in full time traditional school. Like I’ve done all of those things and had to adapt over time with the different seasons and the different things that change.

And I think for those of us out here who are trying to wear all the hats, I just want to encourage you that while there’s no arrival, unfortunately, right? We don’t get to this place where we have it all figured out. You can get to a place where you have systems and tools that you can pull from your toolbox based on what you’re struggling with that make it easier. Because for me, it’s a lot of filtering through what can I let go of? What can I delegate? And what do need to prioritize and focus on? I feel like

Adding that in with pre-planning allows me to move forward step by step, even when I’m struggling and feeling like, and listen, I am a productivity coach. Do you imagine the imposter syndrome that I feel on days where I’m like, I don’t have it all together. But then I have to remind myself that I don’t need to have it all together. I just need to move forward.

Yes. Yeah. I couldn’t agree more that it’s like, it’s about making that forward progress and just honoring where you are that day. Cause I love that you mentioned like all the different seasons of life that you’ve had your business and that you’ve been working from home, right? Cause like same, like when I started the podcast, both boys were, it was the middle of the, I was a podcast, pandemic podcast, words are hard, a pandemic podcast. the, like both my babies were home. They were 10 months and two.

And I was like, okay, how does this fit in? then like starting daycare and then school and then like, oh, they’re in school full time, but it’s like, they’re sick all the time. So they’re not actually school full time, you know? And so learning to adapt and meet yourself where you are while still making progress and having these goals that we’re excited to pursue. also like, I love that you bring up like not leaning into that hustle culture, right? I’m just like, do more, be better. Cause like, that’s just not sustainable.

Cara Harvey (07:39.63)

And if I wanted to do more and be better and it was that easy, I would have done it already. Like, you know, there’s the phrase like your why should be bigger than your excuses. And don’t, don’t hear me wrong here. I think you should have a strong reason, a strong why, but I believe that the why has been taught to be the be all end all. Whereas I think that why is a tool in my toolbox. It is a piece that helps me get things done. It’s a piece I can lean into. It’s not the only strategy that I need.

Because I think especially for the moms I work with, I want to do better so I can make more money, so I can be debt-free, so can pay, like it’s about my kids, so we can drill down on my kids. So when you’re telling somebody, you don’t want it badly enough, you’re not trying hard enough, don’t, what, and your why important enough, you’re essentially shaming them into being like, you don’t care enough. You’re not a good enough mom because if you cared more about you, and that’s all garbage, but this is the language we’ve been fed. So instead of,

How can I just show up in this explosive way all the time? I always coach my moms like, how can we show up today? Like, what can you do today to be your win? Because that will compound for you. It’s not just about always go big or go home. That’s literally the road to burnout, resentment, and unproductivity.

Yeah, I couldn’t agree more. think like I started this new routine this year, just kind of anecdotally. So I dropped the boys off at school in the morning. They take the bus home and it’s like this great balance for our family. But most days I drop them off at school and I drive right to my favorite coffee shop downtown because for some reason, even though I work from home and I love my home office, I’m in it right now. It’s like my favorite space in our whole house. But like the work I do there is different than the work I like to do at home. And there’s something about being in a space

getting my pretty latte, seeing the same barista every day, like seeing the same regulars, putting in my like, don’t talk to me headphones, like putting them on so nobody talks to me, but I get to be around people. Like it’s so helpful. And like, and just making that little tweak has helped me make progress every day. Cause Karen and I were talking about how we don’t like love email and that’s like when I’m like, okay, Kate, you treated yourself to your latte. Now you have to spend 20 minutes in your inbox.

Cara Harvey (09:52.91)

Yeah. Well, and it’s hard to, um, going back to the first kind of stuff we were talking about with all the rules that we play. I think in your home, it is really challenging to put on blinders and not see the dishes in the sink that I currently have. And this is the thing I would say, I still have the dishes. I just have a time plan later in my day to work on them. So I put on those blinders. Like that’s a tool, right? Like I’ve pre-planned when I’m going to do the dishes. But it’s hard to not get distracted. My husband works from home a couple of days a week. He started that this year.

And he was like, he was like, how do you do this? Cause he wants to watch ESPN and then he wants to grab a snack. And I’m like, it is. So to your point of changing that environment, I think that helps the tool when we’re getting stuck. Because when I’m here, right, I’m in my office, Jim craft area, right? I also see the mess. I also see the personal emails. I’m a Girl Scout leader as well. Cookie season is upon us. Right? So I’m also getting the texts about things people like, and it’s hard to compartmentalize without.

For what I do is I pre-plan out like my themed blocks. It’s like part of my big strategy because if I didn’t I would be like well, yes, everyone needs this this this and this for me. Let me do this instead of What did Kara on Sunday? Decide was what I needed to work on and I said this last night. I was doing our weekly planning We do a session in my program and I mentioned I’m a girls that leader. I have a meeting tonight now. I’m normally like

My Friday, I packed my bag, like I’m ready for Monday. Like I don’t like to play around with last minute stuff. I don’t operate well that way, but I was doing this thing for my sister. I was gone. So thankfully last night I came home and I sat there and I was like, thank you Kara from December who wrote the lesson plan. So I was able to like open up my lesson plan because I pre-plan and today, yes, I had to run one errand to get something, but that was it. And I think part of…

Being able to set up your environment for success is knowing what your different roles are and then saying, where do I work best for this? So you might be like, hey, I know admin stuff is really challenging for me, like to stay focused on, I’m gonna do that in coffee shop. And I know that I need to write some copy, but I’m best there at the library. Cause if I’m home, I the TV and there’s all these things. And so I think those sorts of things help you build momentum when it comes to getting work done. Because for me, as soon as I start like veering off,

Cara Harvey (12:08.844)

during my work day to do not work things. It’s a slippery slope. And then I always have other directions. But the thing I always tell myself is like, just get started. Like just do the next thing. Even if I’m feeling stressed out, even feeling anxious, even if I’m overwhelmed and I don’t know where to go. Again, that’s what I said. I said, what is the next thing you need to do for this? And then you start to get going. And once you start to move, then you feel, you know, that I can do this. This is going to work out. I just have to move forward instead of.

Yeah.

Cara Harvey (12:38.324)

I feel stuck because I haven’t done what I thought I was gonna do. Sometimes we just need to move a smidge.

Yes, I totally agree. I think that is like, I think that’s the key is that like, it’s the movement is so important, right? Like you have to get into action, even if it’s messy, even if it’s not like the most ideal next step, but sometimes it’s like, you just got to get moving. But what I hear and what you’re sharing is this proactive approach instead of reactive. Like past care was like, I’m going to write the lesson plan for future care. Like past care was like,

I’m gonna get that bag packed on Friday. So that way when Monday comes around, we’re not hustling and bustling and forgetting things or stressing. I love that. And do you find that, I feel like growing up, I was taught that like, I was made to feel like you took action when you felt confident. And now as an adult, I have learned, inserting a podcast and writing a book and all the things, right?

It’s actually the action for me that creates the confidence. It’s the doing. It’s the taking the next step. Has that been the case for you too?

Yeah, 100%. And there is this thing called the confidence competency loop. And it actually proves this because again, you, I’m sure all of us can think of someone in our head that comes off really confident and they know what they’re talking about, but they don’t know what they’re talking about, right? They don’t have the competency, but they feel confident. Well, that’s actually just arrogance, right? Like that’s not confidence. And you can feel that.

Cara Harvey (14:07.82)

So one of the things that happens is when we start to take action on something that’s either unfamiliar or new, think New Year’s resolutions, goals, we go for that first walk, we do that first thing, we start to grow in confidence because our brain is like, I am competent. I do understand how to do this thing. Like I dabble in sourdough and the first time I sourdoughed, was like, I don’t even know these words. I didn’t, and it was messy, but it was better.

every single time. And now every single time I’m like, okay, I could make a loaf. Like I could do that because my competency has raised all tiny, tiny, tiny steps. My confidence grows. And when your confidence grows and things, you start to have that growth mindset, right? We’ve got our fixed our growth mindset. Our fixed mindset is like, I could never do this. I don’t know how to do anything. Our growth mindset, and I have, have a big growth mindset, like sometimes to a detriment. I truly believe I can do it. I’m literally like.

I can learn how to do anything. I coached my daughter’s cheer team a couple years ago. I’ve never done that. I never cheered, but they needed an adult. I’m like, I’m a competent adult. got a class. God sort of, I just believe this so deep in my core. I didn’t always, right? This is like adult Kara who’s had to work on herself, but that growth mindset of I can do anything. And so when we show up and we start to learn things and we get better at them, we feel confident. So I’m learning Spanish right now.

Re-learning it. I want to talk to my neighbors my kids their kids same ages I want to be like, hey, it okay if they play in the yard? So I was like, I’m gonna learn Spanish, right and the first conversation was so scary I was like, this is awful but the more I started speaking and speaking in Spanish now I feel nervous but like I can do it right and that’s what we need. It’s we need the first thing to be That hurdle we jump over when I was a teacher a special education teacher for about a decade

And I taught a lot of kids with learning disabilities in high school. So these are seniors who have to write these huge papers. haven’t done so many of the senior projects. They have to get this whole thing done. But they’re on like third grade reading levels, right? So it’s hard for them. So one of the things I started doing was creating sentence starters for them for each paragraph. And we put them in the writing notebooks like first, know, next, like last, you know, whatever. I helped them get structured. Because what we realized was it is the start that stops us. It is, don’t know how to take that very first step.

Cara Harvey (16:25.74)

And most of the time, once I got their first sentence, they didn’t need that anymore, right? Like they don’t need to lean on that. It’s like, I just need to get going. So I have found that my confidence and stuff grows from a few ways. One is just working on that belief that like, I can figure this out, right? Like having that. And the reason I have that belief now is because I’ve done things I’ve never done before. And I created, we call it the change resume, right? Keep a notebook, keep a doc, keep whatever. Every time you do something you didn’t think you could do.

I never planned to write a book that was never on a vision board for me, right? No, but here we are. Okay, three years later, books come out. So every time you do with something, little, big, whatever it is, and you show up in ways that you’re like, I talked to that mom at the school drop off. I could never have done that. Like anything you do, write it down to remind yourself that you are a person who is capable of doing things for the first time. And like,

Not dying. Like I was talking to one of my students and she just launched her first course or whatever. And she was like, nobody bought it. And we talked about it. And I said, but it didn’t happen, right? Like nobody leaned through the computer and punched you, right? Like you’re not dead. Like you think it’s going to be so awful and it feels uncomfortable because stretching ourselves feels uncomfortable. But the more you stretch yourself, the more you get this confidence of like, I can do this. And if I fail, I fail, but I just need to move.

So my first podcast episode, terrible, but we’re about to go record episode 500. And, you know, hopefully it’s better, but it’s like just moving forward. And I think the other piece when we talk confidence is asking yourself what is the actual end result, right? Like for me, I want to get content out there that helps moms feel empowered to like manage their time. Okay. I do not care if I win a podcasting award for being the best podcaster.

I don’t care if people are like, she’s the best speaker in the world. Like, and for other people, maybe they have a different end goal, right? Like, but like, isn’t it for me? So because that’s not my end goal, I’m less critical of myself when things aren’t perfect. Because my goal is not to, like, I, know, everybody’s got a mic now, right? Like, I don’t care what the influencers are doing on podcasts. I know I’m trying to reach my mom. So when I go to do it, that’s different. When I go to work on anything, I’m watching a new program, right?

Cara Harvey (18:45.472)

I’m like, my goal is to try to see if I can reach moms in a different way. That’s what I’m looking at. And I think that translates to your house, right? Like when I create habits and routines in my home, like I always say, like I give my kids their, they have their morning to do list, right? And they have to brush them and get dressed and have their breakfast or whatever. I would like my kids to do it in a certain order. Cause I don’t want my kid going to school with toothpaste on his shirt. guess what? That’s not the end goal. The end goal is that my kid does his morning routine.

and I have to remind him less. So does he go to school because he likes to get dressed and then brush his teeth like with, yes, but that’s not the point. And I think a lot of times we lose the point in perfectionism, right? We lose the point because we’re trying to make it look what we think it’s supposed to look like instead of actually asking like, what do I want out of this? So yes, you grow your confidence by stepping up. You grow your confidence by learning a little bit, by being like, I’ve done this before. Like if you’re struggling with, he’s.

ask yourself, has there been a time where I didn’t know how to do something? Like all of us have had a first day of a job somewhere. We’ve done something where we were new at something, but we forget, don’t we? And then we show up and we’re like, I can’t do this. you’re like, remember all those other things that you did, but we forget them because all we’re ever looking at is the ways we need to show up perfectly. So I, you know, I went all over on my Ted talk on that one, but hopefully it people realize that.

When you move forward, in competency, you start to grow your confidence. So all you have to do is start to move forward.

Yes, I love that so much. You know, it’s funny because as you’re sharing it reminded me of the story of before I was a podcaster and before I did summits and road a bug and all the things I taught yoga for like four or five years and I loved it. But when I first started, I had never taught yoga before. And so like, I knew that I just needed to get I called it like word vomit. I was like, I just got to get all the words out that aren’t right. And just I just have to teach teach teach teach teach until I get to like a place where I feel

speaker-1 (20:44.128)

Like I can just walk in and just teach. like my first class, I remember that I ever led by myself. had like pages of notes. like, you know, I was like, I hadn’t even moved my body and I’m sweating and my voice is shaky. Right. Or like, it sounds probably a lot like my first podcast episode. and then, you know, you keep showing up and you have fewer notes. And, and one time I was trying to tell my students to raise their fingertips to the sky and it came out, raise your fingertips. I don’t even use that word.

But that was like, well, we’re just going to roll with it, right? But if you can learn to laugh at yourself, learn to pick yourself up after your mistakes or after the failures, right? I mean, my students still text me about that. And I’m like, I haven’t taught yoga in a decade. And this is hilarious that we’re still talking about it, right? sometimes we get so in our head that we can’t show up unless it’s, quote, perfect.

And like you said, with this growth mindset approach, it’s like, no, what if we just show up the way that we are and we keep showing up and the confidence grows and like, yeah, I probably still say some weird words sometimes, but for the most part, I’ve gotten all the word vomit out. And then like now, like I could walk into a classroom and teach a yoga class without any notes, right? Like I don’t need a notebook and you know, you can take off like, was it like when you go bowling and there’s like the bumpers, right? You get to take off the bumpers of life, right?

So I love that you’re reminding us that like, we get to have belief in ourselves. We get to create this change resume. I love that so much. And like, it’s okay if there are mistakes along the way. Like if you flub your words or like you don’t show up the way that like, you know, the ideal version of you in your head would like, that’s okay. We get to try again. And like you said, like what is the worst that could happen, right? And if you can live with that, it’s probably worth trying.

Yeah, 100%. Because that perfectionism becomes our procrastination tool, right? Sit in, I can’t do it this way, I don’t look this way, I am not qualified enough this. Like all these things we ourselves. Because again, my podcast has been around since 2019. I thought about it since 2017, right? Like it took me two years to get the courage to go forward. And now I look at that and I’m like, oh my gosh, like we’re really about to do 500 episodes. And I almost didn’t even start.

Cara Harvey (23:04.77)

Like, and that’s the thing I just think is so important, especially like I said, because of the moms I work with, so many of them are trying to work from home. They may have their full-time job and they’re trying to do like a side hustle to try to build something new so they can, you know, change their hours or they’re trying to manage all of these things.

Cara Harvey (23:26.892)

If you are a mom who wants to start a business and you need help and you want to go from chaos to clarity, I want you to go over to a purposetofyourmom.com business planner and get my new ultimate digital planner for business owners. I’ve got client profile pages, business breakdowns, promo planners, goal setting, social media, and more. You can take that overwhelm that is planning your business and get all of it in one place. You can make a binder, get your things together, and get on track with your business. I’ve got

13 different planning worksheets you can choose from, goal shedding sheets, project planning, product planning, client profiles, financial templates, and more. Go to A Purpose to Reform Mom.com slash business planner, and you can also get this bonus social media content pages where there are over 20 different options for you to lay out your social media and get it done. Go to A Purpose to Reform Mom.com slash business planner and grab yours today.

Cara Harvey (24:23.224)

When you’re managing a lot of things, you have a percentage of failing that is higher than if you aren’t managing a lot. I have to make so many decisions. And throughout the day, if I make 100 decisions, which I’m sure I make more, I probably mess up on at least 10 of them, right? Because we’re constantly doing this, while looking at that math, you’re like, well, that’s just 10%. That’s not bad, 90%, whatever. But our brain wants to be like, failure, failure.

failure, failure, right? Like our brain wants to be like, see all the ways you messed up instead of look at all the ways you showed up. And I think that’s the key tool that we’ll pull out for this is just, we can’t let perfectionism and that thought of like, if I can’t do it a certain way, I’m not gonna do it at all, hold us back because we will just be waiting forever for everything. Those holes you have. And I have a lot of moms that come to me that are,

like empty nesters, grandmas, right? We have a couple in their eighties, because they’re in this second, third half of their life or whatever and they wanna do something. And this one woman, she inspires me so much because she has these conversations. They’re real, not the most fun, right? But she’s like, this is probably the last set of goals I’m gonna make, right? She’s in mid eighties. And she’s like, this is the last set of goals I’m probably gonna make, so I wanna make them good, right? You don’t wanna get to this place where you’re like, look at all these things I didn’t do.

And now I’m here because I was too afraid to just get started because I wouldn’t have been perfect. When a lot of times, no one’s expecting us to be perfect except for the voice in our head, that is what’s holding us back.

Totally. And do you find that some of the women that you work with, because I find this in my community and I even have found it in myself in different seasons of waiting for permission to start. with my podcast, for example, like I also had it on my heart and in my head to do for the longest time. And I just kind of kept like, I don’t know, just like, yeah, I’ve got a little baby, dah, dah, dah. You know, I can make up every excuse in the book. And then one day, one of my good friends at the time texted me and was like, hey, I really think you should start a podcast.

Cara Harvey (26:08.76)

to do.

speaker-1 (26:27.126)

And that was the thing that got me to be like, okay, I think I’m to buy a course and like learn more about this. Right. And without that person, I don’t know if I would have ever done it. Right. And now I’m at a point in life where like, have these ideas and I like, I’m all in and I go for it. don’t need, I don’t, I’m not waiting for permission anymore, but it’s, mean, it’s been 10 years of personal development to get to that place. Do you see that in your community too where we’re waiting for permission?

actually have, as if, charism as we call them, I’ve got lots of them and one of them, and I probably say it once a week on our coaching calls is, you know, you don’t need the permission but I’m gonna give it to you in case you have to hear it today. Because while you are innately built to do whatever, right, like you don’t need me to give you permission, so many of us are not there. And so I’m always like, you don’t need permission to like do a little more, but like go for it, right? Like I don’t want to say it to you because a lot of times,

we feel like someone has to let us do that because especially for moms, like the pressure that we are under to manage everything is a lot. So it’s like, if I fail at this, all we see are like, what are the consequences of failing and not what could come out on the other side if I just get started. And so we need this permission until we’re ready to give it to ourselves. And sometimes I also even, being like your friend messaging you, we need that support system. I’m gonna give you a real, again.

I’m the expert here, but I struggle with it too. So I did an in-person event, live event, it was wonderful about a year and a half ago. My community has been asking, do more live, do more live. I’m like, oh, like it’s just so much work. What if nobody gets, like there’s all the thoughts. And one of my team members, Courtney, was like, just do it smaller. Like just do it imperfectly. Like you’re overthinking it and you just have to start it. So we decided last minute, literally like three weeks out, like let’s record the live episode 500 live.

If people show up, they show up. was able to find a place that was letting me record for free. I was like, great, we’ll get some food. We’ll record the episode. If people come, they come. if, if it’s two people, I’m going to do it. And I needed that, I needed the permission for someone to be like, it’s okay if it’s not go big or go home. Cause in my head it was, we did this massive event and rented event. Like we already did this. So I need to do it bigger. And she was like, why? And I was like, Ooh, okay.

Cara Harvey (28:41.23)

Like my husband, I see you. Yes, right. I feel like what would you tell one of your moms? And I’m like, shut up. But I’m also like, yes. Like I know sometimes of like, I don’t need the permission, but when you get yourself around a good support system, they can help empower you when you’re not feeling it. Because here’s the other thing is sometimes like, again, impossible. I’ll get my head like, well, I should just, because I’m the productivity, I should be able to coach myself through, but I also need those people.

Right. Yeah, you want like I would love if my husband was my person all the time, but he’s not he does not care about my goals like I do so I have multiple people I have multiple groups I have the people who are cheering for me and you’re still gonna have the people who aren’t right But I have the people who speak life into me who are like you should go for this and we need to be that to other people the more we are that the more we will attract that and then You start to notice you say things to people and you’re like I’m telling you I like listen to my podcast every weekend I batch so

You know, I recorded all my episodes like a month and a half ago and I was like, dang Kara, I needed to hear that, right? Like, I keep it to. So the more that you give, like you are this for other people, the more you’re gonna start to listen to your own advice. And like that’s the thing to ask yourself. If I had a friend, my best friend who wanted to do this thing, came to me with this situation, but was saying she was afraid or doubting or not sure if she was worthy or whatever it is, what would I tell her? Right? And you know, what would I tell my daughter?

take very seriously raising this next generation. daughter’s 10, like she, and she is something, she is very like self-assured. She knows what she wants. And I take it seriously because I’m like, I would never tell her like, you probably don’t have the skills for that. would say, well, what can we do to make it? you know what? I will tell you something. ma’am. Okay. So this is vulnerable, right? So I have some vision board stuff here on the back, right? Yeah. Right.

too big.

Cara Harvey (30:33.75)

And then I have the stuff that like I didn’t have on my plan for this year, but pops into my head after I made my vision board, right? And they’re not huge things. I need a new laptop. I just didn’t have it planned. I want to go see Hamilton. We’re going to Italy. Like things like that, right? But last night, this just happened. My daughter came in the room and she was like looking at her, the vision board. We just made them in Girl Scouts too. So she like knows what a vision board is. She was like, are these your goals? And I was like, yeah. And she’s like, I don’t like this one. So this is a picture of kids doing laundry. Cause one of the goals I have for the year is my kids doing more stuff. And she was like.

So that’s what you want, like to go hiking and hold hands. And she was like, mom, you should probably dream a little bit bigger, huh? And I was like, Ooh, but you got me, right? Yeah. Along the way, I had a really hard year. I lost some of my own confidence. Like I really did. And I needed to hear that. So I actually wrote on a piece of paper. said this top one just says dream bigger because right now I’m like struggling at this place where I’m like feeling, like am I worthy? Like again, still struggling with it, but I pulled the tools out.

And I said, know what, you’re right. Like when did I stop believing all these things about myself that I tell you and stuff. And I could tell that I was getting her hand. was like, so I wrote that and I put it up with her last night and yelled like, you know what, I’m going to work on that this year. I was like, because these are great things and I’m pretty sure all of them are going to happen. I don’t have a plan for all of them. I’d like, they’re not the most far fetched thing in the world, right? But I should dream bigger.

But somewhere I realized I lost some of that confidence and I needed, like I needed that outside person to be like, of course you can do that and more. Like, you know that, right? And I’m like, I do know that. Like, thank you for that reminder. So I think it’s like pulling those people in to remind you when you lose faith in yourself because it does happen.

Absolutely. Yeah, I think and and that’s why I love doing these events and like you’re some host like a podcaster like we do so much of the same stuff where like because we believe in this power of like bringing powerful women together and like the power of like Having somebody reach a hand back to somebody who’s like one or two steps behind them and being like let me help you and then that same person needs to reach like their hand forward and being like, great There’s somebody ahead of me who can help me right and they’re like we don’t have to do this alone and like

speaker-1 (32:46.414)

I was in a season last year, so 2025, where I liked, I was thinking about it recently and I was like, I think it was kind of the year I lost my sparkle a little bit. Like, I, cause I had long COVID and I was super sick for like 10 months. And I just like, the reason I ended up writing the book was cause I was like, I literally don’t have the energy to do anything, but I could probably outline a chapter today. Like it was, it was, it was rough, but I like, I lost a little bit of my sparkle, but then I like had to.

pull into my life those people that help you get that back. My husband’s always been my biggest cheerleader. He believes in me before. I believe in myself usually. But then joining coaching programs and getting a new mentor and hiring a different business coach, all these different, calling these people into your life that can remind you your daughter did too, which is so stinking beautiful. I’m trying not to cry on this interview because that’s heart.

1. Sweet. But it’s also like things like let’s talk the podcast, right? I always tell moms like if you’re working on a decluttering goal, if you’re working on learning about Pinterest, whatever you’re working on, find a podcast about that topic and listen to it while you’re doing it. Because like I was going over some budgeting stuff. I had a long drive yesterday and I was like, I got to go home and like redo my budget for the week because it’s Sunday. I listened to podcasts on my home and guess what? Well, I might have a budgeting coach in my life right now. I had that person in my ear.

and I feel like I know them, right? And I also, that helps get the spark back. And I think what also is important in this conversation I want people to hear is like, it happens to all of us. Like that Lucy, that sparkle thing, like that was my word for this year is awaken because I feel like I like, I was telling my sister, I’m like, I’m happy, right? But I feel like I’m missing like jumps of joy, right? Like I’m just feeling like I’m like, which again, it’s my kids, right? Season of life, all this stuff I have going on. But I was like, I want to pull a little bit of that out.

It happens to all of us and it’s what you do with that information. I could be, well, this is just how life is. I could be, this is just my season. So I find this mix of, this is my season of life where I’m incredibly busy. My daughter’s in competitive cheer, my son plays travel baseball. I’ve got my job, got the part-time, I’ve got all these things. But I ask myself every day, well, how can I choose to fit me in? How can I choose to have space for my goals? How can I choose a space for my business? How can I have?

Cara Harvey (35:06.67)

Joy is one of those things. I’m challenging myself. Right now it’s once a week. I want to get to like every day, but like where is my joy in my week? And we did this on planning last night, my program, where we go through the planning system. And the last thing I say is I want you to make sure you have something that will bring you joy this week. And I stopped and I was like, what am I doing? Like I really did it, like I couldn’t find it because it wasn’t obvious. Like last week it was birthday. Like was obvious. Like I didn’t have any obvious joy. And so I had to really sit and think. And what that did,

was it helped me also have gratitude in the everyday. Like I was like, where is the joy? And one of my friends, our husband works from home, so like we can’t really always, or he works nights, so we can’t always go out. So on Wednesday nights, we go to her house, after the kids go to bed at nine o’clock and we watch like two episodes of like reality TV and catch up, right? Like four of us, I’m sitting doing it. And we’ve missed weeks because of the holidays. And I’m like, that’s my joy this week. Like I haven’t gotten to just sit and like hang out with my friends for an hour and then we all come in our pajamas and then we all go home, right? Like it’s not, but it’s-

I love this joy. It’s honestly, it’s the best thing I think we’ve done for our like our not only our friendship, but just as people to realize everything doesn’t have to be this big if we can find the joy in the small moments. And I think when just to loop it all back to your belief in yourself is like, are you finding those small moments where you’re showing up? Like every time I work out, I am like, I’m proud of you. I’m proud of you. I hurt my foot this weekend a little bit.

and I got up and worked out this morning and I was like, I’m so proud that you did this out loud. And this is what I to do, talk to yourself. People walked by my house, they’d be like, what is she? I’m just always talking to myself. Because you have to retrain the voice in your head, the one that’s like, I can’t do it. The one that’s the limiting beliefs from your kids, all that psychoanalytical stuff we go into, I would rather your voice start to sound like you and what you want it to be and not whatever else it sounds like. So I…

very much talk to myself all the time when I show up for stuff and I’m like, wow, way to go. Like I love to track things and gamify and be like, you did that. Every time I, I track that thing, I cross it off my list. Like I not only cross it off my list that I got it done, but I affirm like way to show up. Like look at how far you’re coming because we really lose belief in ourselves very fast. And for some of us, happens when we’re really little, right? And like we never have had it.

Cara Harvey (37:21.294)

For some of us, happens in certain moments, certain situations, certain people. You have to speak that into yourself in those small moments. And that’s when the compound effect, right, of doing things every little day, you won’t even realize how loud it is. And then all of a sudden, in a different situation where you would have maybe felt self-conscious or not confident, and all of a sudden you’re like, you handle it differently and like, that was me, I did it. Like, oh, I’m really happy. Because we show up tiny, tiny, tiny ways.

And that’s, always tell my mom, like, well, I want you to achieve your goals, right? You’re like, I want to go run a half marathon, a 5K, whatever you want to do. I want you to do that. What I want you to do more though is to show up for that goal. That’s all I really want because there’s three parts, right, of our goal. Like there’s the actual goal. did I complete?

There’s the crafting time in your schedule for the goal. That’s like a whole thing. And then there’s actually just showing up to make progress. And we only look at that first one. And we’re like, if I didn’t start the podcast or write the book or do the course, then I failed. But what about all the times you just showed up? What about all the ways? And that’s why I love trackers, little pom-poms in the, I want you to visualize it because in the day to day, feels mundane. It feels like you’re not doing enough. It will never, when you’re a high,

performance driven person. It will never be enough. You will continue to move the goalpost if your only goalpost is completion. So I have switched my life to being like completion is important. Like I want to finish things, but my actual goalpost, my milestones are the showing up. And that has allowed me to stop looking at everything as 100 % and zero. It’s like, did I make progress?

that so much and I think that’s so much more sustainable, helps us avoid burnout and it helps us feel like successful every day, right? Because not every day has to be this big celebration of like, look I did this big thing. Like yeah, we want to celebrate those milestones for sure. But sometimes the celebration is like, I showed up today and I was tired or the kids were up all night or whatever, like somebody’s home sick and I didn’t get good sleep or whatever it is.

speaker-1 (39:30.146)

There’s so many reasons we could not do it. And so just celebrating the fact that you showed up and then that you showed up consistently. And like, I always like to think about like, I was a runner before I had kids. I still like, I love moving my body. I liked a roller blade now. That’s like such a good-

I found that was a new one I found in my forties by the way. I was so afraid of how I would look and I would do all this and I’m gonna fall. I don’t remember how to do it. And I roller skated with my daughter. She loves to do it. And I was like, this is hard. And then I put on blades and I was like, this is so fun. that’s of things for myself this year.

Yes. Yes. And I look ridiculous, right? I’ve got like a rainbow helmet and rainbow pads and like turquoise roller blades. And I love them so much. And like, the reason I bring it up is because like, love the woman that I get to grow into. Like before I had kids, like the woman I got to grow into when I trained for a half marathon was like,

A woman who showed up for herself and honored the commitment to herself. The woman who prioritized, you know, her, what she was eating to fuel her body. Like the woman who made the time to go for all those training runs, right? Like, like the race itself was the victory lap because like, it was who you became along the way. And even with rollerblading, it’s still like that. It’s like, it’s not about the distance I cover one day or like, you know, the dog I bring with me that enjoys herself. Like, which I love by the way, but like, it’s like.

right?

speaker-1 (40:52.192)

It’s me getting to be joyful in the moment while I’m rollerblading, right? And like probably entertaining the heck out of my neighbors at the same time. like, I just, yeah, I love this reminder of that. Like it’s, it’s about the journey. It’s about the confidence we get to grow by showing up and saying yes to ourselves every day. And that that gets to look different from day to day too. Like our bodies are cyclical as women, like life is cyclical. are different seasons of life.

What if we can just appreciate and honor where we are each day? that’s so much of what I appreciate about how you share and how you teach is that it’s so sustainable. But I also love that you’re bringing this joy piece into because like, we don’t want to lose the day to day joy in pursuit of the goals. Like I love that. Those little like those jumps of joy, as you said, are still there.

When every day is different and I think when you can redefine what success looks like for yourself based on where you’re at like this concept of like making when the poop hits the fan blocks we started with talking like a little bit of pre-planning intentionality this is part of it yeah I encourage people to go through your schedule

we do time blocking and then make these when the poop hits the fan blocks. I want you to one thing per time block that’s your bare minimum. If it’s a shower, if it’s I’m gonna get my dishes loaded, if it’s I gotta answer my email, whatever your one thing is and if you get that done, that’s your success for the day. And I work with lot of moms who have chronic illnesses, so they’re like having migraines, they wake up the next day, they need reentry plans. And that really changed my mindset around like what does success look like today? What does success look like for this? Last Monday, first day of school after winter break, I was like, I am taking a nap. So you know what?

And then Tuesday, success for me looked like, you I was like, all right, like you can’t do this every, you know, like you can’t. Tuesday was you don’t take a nap. And I was like, boom, we’re getting more work done, right? Like it was like, I slowly got myself back into work mode. Yeah. off break because I wanted to go all in, but I was like, I’m not there. Like I’m not there. And if I pushed myself so hard off the gate, I was going to burn out. And then it was like, all right, well, maybe I watched one episode of TV. You know, we’re just.

Cara Harvey (42:55.66)

Slowly, is my day look like based on where I’m at in my cycle and what goal I’m working on all of the importance of like the night before Look at your schedule look at each time block and say like what does success look like in this time block? Mmm, that’s look like in this like make it so small for yourself So that you’re not putting pressure on yourself to cross everything off every block Yeah, like I never get everything done on my to-do list like ever I don’t ever have a day where I do that But I’m forward and I think that when you can reframe

and ask yourself that question, like, what is success gonna look like for me for this today in this moment? You’re less likely to quit because you’re like, oh, I didn’t beat my, you know, like I used to run too. I didn’t, would be like beat myself up when I was younger if I wasn’t faster. I beat my PR ankle. then post kids, there’s like this 10 miler that I run in Philly. I was like, my post kids was like, I just wanna finish this. Like we’re just gonna finish up, right? Like we’re just gonna finish up for what time it is, right?

It’s just about showing up. And I was so proud of myself. I didn’t care how much of it I had to walk because it was, like you said, every time I had showed up, had built that. And that’s where our confidence is. It’s in the showing up, no matter how big or how small and coupling that with applauding for yourself and having, letting other people applaud for you like that. You know, I said to my husband, like, it’s probably so annoying living with like a life coach, like we are, we’re always like, what are you, let’s sell it. Like, I just like, you’re trying to, with my kids, like.

I’m just like really happy that they like show up to try and like you do that. And I’ll and I’m on a mess, but I’ll walk in the room. But guess what I just did? I finished my workout. And I’m like, I’m everyone know. Just letting everyone know. Like because we have to and now my kids will come in and be like, good job on your workout, mom. Thank you. Right. Thank you. Read that culture where people are celebrating you and you celebrate yourself.

Yeah, hell yeah. I am so here for that. Yeah, we love to do the same thing at our house of just like, we call it pits and peaches. We do it every night at dinner. A pit is something they’re like, yeah, that wasn’t great. But the peach is like, here’s something that went well today. And it’s like, and it’s all about celebrating each other and holding space for each other and like acknowledging the day. Okay, so I could talk to you all day care. my gosh, like we are I feel like well, first of all,

speaker-1 (45:11.266)

I need to learn more about your live recording when we get off the air because I would love to come support you because I’m not that far away. But two, I know that you have this really incredible weekly planner checklist and Trello board, which by the way, Trello boards have like changed my life. And I like don’t say that lightly, but they are so incredible. And I know that it’s your gift for everybody who is here. So like guys, our speakers at this event have just been so insanely generous and Kara is chief among them. So Kara, can you tell us and friends.

The link is going to be in your listening app. So like don’t leave the app, just scroll down to grab this free resource. But can you tell us what can people find in this resource you have for them?

Yeah. So if you’ve never heard of Trello, it is a free tool you can use. It’s a project management software that I’ve kind of flipped on its head to manage my home and my life. And inside of it, I have our weekly checklist. I mentioned a few times that we do planning and my coaching. It’s follows our step-by-step checklist that we do to fit in your goals for the week. And then there’s a corresponding Trello board with videos. If you’ve never done Trello, there’s a video in there. It’ll show you how to use it if you want to make it digital. So that’s kind of all packaged in one.

That’s so much and Kara you are so sweet and you have this beautiful addition to our giveaway. So again friends, the way to get entered into the giveaway is go pre-order my book over on Amazon, fill out the super brief Google form. All that again is below in your episode description, all those links, but that will get you entered to win the giveaways. And Kara has given us the mompreneur Trello bundle, which I’m not going to lie. I’m reading it and I’m like, yeah, I probably need the mompreneur Trello bundle in my life too. So Kara for our lucky winner, what can she or he expect?

Yeah. again, Trello has been a tool that has helped me organize my life because it’s it’s an organized Pinterest board essentially, but you can keep systems and flows together. So there’s seven boards specifically for business stuff that are already pre-made. I’ve got a social media board, a webinar board, a launch board, like all the systems that you need in your business. Each one has a video of like, this is my suggestion on how to best use it. And then there’s a board you can just copy and start to apply right away to your business.

speaker-1 (47:13.228)

that so much and care for everyone who’s listening and they’re like, I need more care Harvey in my life. Where do I find her online? How do I listen to her podcast? All the things like tell us all the ways to connect with you. What’s going on in your business world? Like how can we support you? Like give us all the details.

Yeah, come hang out. So my podcast is called the purpose driven mama show so you can head and check that out anywhere you podcast the book which it’s wild has been three years still sells every week like on Amazon like it’s still doing its thing. Which is really fun because I don’t have a marketing strategy right now like I’m just like people fight it. How busy moms ditch the guilt say yes to what matters and conquer their goals. And if you go to the 15 minute formula.com slash free, I have a workbook that

Excited.

Cara Harvey (47:55.7)

goes with the book. So even if you don’t buy the book, the book’s linked there, you can grab the workbook and it’ll help you with some of your goals. And then yeah, I’m launching a brand new program in February, the end of February should be called On Purpose You. And it is all about figuring out what is the correct path for your goals in your specific season. And it’s going to be a library of resources to help you figure out how to be aligned.

How do you get some momentum? It’s gonna be super cute. We got majors and minors and the whole thing going free. you can go to purposedrivenmom.com slash on purpose you, Y-O-U to go to learn more about that depending on if we’re open or if we’re in a wait list or who knows where we’ll be at that time. But that’s coming out at end of February.

my gosh, Kara, thank you so much. Friends, we’re gonna put links, everything I just mentioned, below in your episode description. Like, you don’t even have to leave your app, just scroll on down, go subscribe to the show, get on the wait list, join the program, do all the things, connect on social, because like, these speakers are just phenomenal women, and if you find one that resonates with you, like, go follow that person, go connect with them. Kara, chief among them, thank you so much for being here, sweet friend, and just love getting to collaborate together again.

It was so fun and again, it’s been common. I haven’t done speaking in like two months since it was the holidays and I was like feeling like, do I got this again? And then I get up to speak more. It’s so much fun. So you just need to go forward. Everybody listening to say, just do something small step, big step, just do anything today. But Kate, thank you for having me. Way to go.

team. my gosh, Kara, you never know it’s been a couple of months. It’s not the best part about like connecting with other podcasters and other speakers is you just get on and it just flows.

Cara Harvey (49:28.63)

It’s so nice to do interviews and stuff with people who also do it because it’s natural.

Just yes, exactly.

Cara Harvey (49:50.926)

you

Thanks so much for listening to this episode of the Purpose Driven Mom Show. If this episode served you in any way, we would really appreciate it if you headed over to wherever you listen to podcasts, hit that five star, and leave a review and a rating. That’s how more moms can find us and we can grow our community. If you had a tip or an aha, make sure you come over and tag me, add a Purpose Driven Mom on Instagram, and share it with your friends. The best way for us to get this message out there of less hustle and less shame and more intentionality is for you to share it with people you know need to hear it.

Thanks for watching.

Thank We appreciate you and I can’t wait to connect with you more outside of the podcast.