Cara Harvey  (00:04.142)

Welcome to the Purpose Driven Mom Show. Here at Purpose Driven Mom, we believe that it’s possible to manage your home, work on your personal goals, and grow and scale an online business.

Most productivity tips out there tell you to hustle more and make you feel shame about not being motivated enough. And we’re here to dispel this myth. I’m Kara Harvey and I am on a mission to help work at home moms realize that they have the power to go after their dreams, take care of themselves and manage their home without perfectionism, guilt or having to sacrifice their sleep. If you’re ready to shift your thinking around productivity and get some practical tips to help you manage your mom life, toss your earbuds in while you fill the laundry and let’s do this.

Cara Harvey  (00:48.93)

Have you been wondering how you can make AI and chat GPT a tool you use and not something that overwhelms or irritates you? I know I did not want any part in the AI when I heard about it a few years ago, but now chat GPT has become my personal assistant. I have put together 40 of my favorite prompts specifically for moms to help you manage your schedule, break down your goals, create meal plans and more. You can go to a purpose-driven mom.com slash AI prompts and grab these absolutely for free.

and start using the Chat GPT tools for good and helping your day feel lighter and better. That’s a Purpose Driven Mom.com slash AI PROS.

Welcome to the Purpose Be Mom Show, episode 501. We have hit that milestone of episode 500 and I cannot wait to bring you some more incredible resources, absolutely for free, right here on the Purpose to Be Mom podcast and hopefully do 500 more episodes. 501 is a special one because I am giving you behind the scenes on my brand new program, On Purpose U. On Purpose U has been a labor of love these past few months. I’ve pretty much hibernated and done nothing but film.

video after video after video. We have a group of about 50 founding members who have helped shape this program. They have been on feedback calls with me every single week. They have helped me decide what gets cut, what stays, and it is incredible. I’m so proud of it, and we will be opening it up very soon to the public. So make sure you head over to appurposedifferentmom.com slash onpurpose you now. It’ll link you to the wait list. We are going to be launching it, I think it’s…

March 19th is the day that we have on the plan for you to be able to get in. And the goal of On Purpose U is to help you go through these phases of life that maybe shift and figure out what’s holding you back. There’s three different phases you go through, clarity, alignment, and momentum. And inside On Purpose U, it’s a planned university, it’s set up like a school. So you go through the 101 curriculums or syllabus, things like that, and then you get the opportunity

Cara Harvey  (02:56.94)

to dive into the majors and the minors and the elective classes that we will put up each month inside this membership. I’m so excited to be able to offer something at a lower price point also than the Purpose Driven Mom club. It’ll be only $27 a month when we launch it in March. So you’re gonna wanna make sure you jump on that. So again, a purpose-drivenmom.com slash on purpose you. Today’s episode, I took one of the foundational videos on the purpose alignment method and I’m putting it here for you.

to get a little bit of a sneak peek inside the program. Each of the schools 101s has anywhere between 20 and 30, 15 minute or less videos to help you. This one though does not come from one of the schools, it comes from the core curriculum. So when you get into On Purpose U, you get to head into orientation week, then you head into the core curriculum and from there, you actually choose your own pathway. Do you need clarity, alignment, or momentum? I have a quiz to help you figure out where to go from there.

So this in particular is from the core curriculum and it really helps you figure out what is it that you’re missing and what you’ll get inside on purpose you. When you’re listening today, I really want you to think like, is this something that I could use? What was interesting was our founding members said, you know, I didn’t think I needed clarity. Like I know what I want. And then as I went into it, I was like, that’s what I need. And some of them are like, nope, I’m ready for leadership and momentum. So enjoy this overview of what the purpose alignment method is.

And hopefully I’ll see you in a couple weeks. of a box. Notes are all gonna be over at A Purpose Different Mom dot com slash podcast five zero one. Welcome to this lesson on an overview of the purpose alignment method. Now I know in the orientation I talked a little bit about this, inside the curriculum I wanna hit it again because we know that repetition is what helps, but I also wanna add a couple things that I didn’t talk about a little deeper than I got to in the orientation, okay? The purpose alignment method was created because I realized

A lot of the moms I was working with just wanted this. They’re like, I just want to implement. I just want to implement. And they were hitting roadblocks over and over and over again. And it was because they were not able to get to the momentum stage because they didn’t have clarity and they didn’t have alignment. And so while I pulled it all together, I realized that if you have all of these things, the momentum piece is really just about building trust with yourself. It doesn’t feel as hard.

Cara Harvey  (05:18.848)

Our goal in this lesson is to help you reconnect what matters now and not who you used to be or who you think you should be, but who you are now. Because purposeful alignment is not about doing more. It is about doing what fits in the moment, the now. Alignment, you’re gonna hear me use this over the word balance over and over and over again. When we think balance, we think this beautiful pie chart and everything looks the same. When I’m talking alignment, I’m talking about what fits, that your goals,

Fit your capacity, fit your season, fit your energy. Alignment doesn’t mean that it has to be perfect. I think sometimes we think, well, if this is aligned for me, then I, you know, it should be easy. Doesn’t mean that, but it means that it fits better. Purpose is not pressure. It is saying, this is what matters in my season. And your systems should adapt to you, not always the other way around. Purposeful alignment though, it’s not

Let me hustle harder, right, so that I can get it done. Yes, you have to work hard. Yes, you have to do things out of your comfort zone. Yes, you can’t always have your plans fit the way you want, but it’s not about that concept of, if I just hustle harder, I’ll get it. And it’s also not about forcing the consistency. I must do this, even though it isn’t lined up, even if it means.

I’ve got to stay up till 2 a.m. to get it done. Now there are times we have to do this. So don’t get me wrong. You’re going to have to work hard at your goals and at your life. There’s no easy way to get there, but there are simple ways to achieve what you want. Purposeful alignment is also not copying someone else’s system. It’s adjusting it. So I know that we go to Pinterest and we want everything to fit beautifully, but here’s the thing.

That printable chart is not gonna fit your life because it doesn’t know your life. It’s about adjusting systems and it’s not about just waiting to be motivated. It’s about creating a plan for yourself. Because when you have all of this effort and you’re like running on the treadmill of life against the current, without alignment, you get burnt out. You’re like, I’m exhausted. I feel like I’m never getting anything done, which leads to resentment, which leads to this place where you just throw your hands in the air and you’re like, I can’t do it. So you just keep restarting.

Cara Harvey  (07:32.216)

I’ll do it again Monday, and then Monday, and then Monday. You have this guilt because you’re not doing enough, and then you stop trusting. You stop believing that you are a person who is capable of doing things, and we don’t want that for you. Now, our purpose alignment method, I’ve talked about this before, but this is our three different schools, clarity, alignment, and momentum. And inside each school, when you get there, you will get courses, majors, minors, electives, and lessons that you can take.

to help you with these things. But here’s the thing, this is not linear, it is cyclical. You’re going to decide when you need it. You might have a goal and you’re like, I’m really clear on what I wanna do, I just need to move to alignment. Or you might hit momentum and say something isn’t working, so where do I go from there? The first phase of clarity is asking yourself these questions. So if you’re struggling with these things, again, when it comes to your goal, I think,

Clarity is the place for you. Now when you get down and there’s the quiz to help you decide which pathway to build for yourself, you’re gonna dive into a lot of these, but if you start journaling them out now, you start doing the assignment, it’s gonna help you. Like what do you actually want? Right? Clarity is answering that question. And what is mattering in my season? What matters right now to me? Every month is going to feel different in your life. And if you’re trying to pick a learning plan, maybe you’re like, you know what? I wanna pick a new elective path every month this year that I’m gonna do to learn a couple different things. So it’s asking.

What matters right now? What is draining me versus what is fueling me? Clarity isn’t about that perfect vision, it’s your awareness. So when clarity is missing from this whole method, everything feels urgent, decision making is exhausting, every goal feels like the goal you must work on and you don’t actually get the things done. But when you skip clarity, when you’re like, I don’t need this, I know what I want, you’re often chasing the wrong goals.

You say yes to things that don’t matter. We’re gonna talk a lot about that in the School of Clarity. If you struggle with boundaries, I have a whole minor coming for you if it’s not already uploaded on boundaries, that’s really gonna help you. You feel busy but unfulfilled. When you skip clarity, you borrow priorities from everyone else and you wonder why you feel unsatisfied. The second phase of this is that alignment. This is asking what fits my current capacity and it’s all about systems. What are the systems that support my season?

Cara Harvey  (09:53.132)

and what needs to change that isn’t just me fixing myself, but what about my plan doesn’t work? What about my time management doesn’t work? What can I move around? Alignment in this phase is where we’re gonna decide routines, plans, expectations that will match your real life. This is where the guilt drops and sustainability begins. When you’re in the alignment phase, you’re gonna get into majors and minors that are about your routines. If you have a specific routine,

You’re like, really need help with this. Go through the alignment lessons with that goal in mind. It will help you figure out your good, better, best, figure out your triggers, figure out the things that are gonna help you make it work. But when you skip it, you will overcommit, you will make systems that don’t work for you, you will keep restarting and ask yourself this question, why can’t I do it? What’s wrong with me? And this is where we get stuck. Many moms know, like what you want, you’re clear. You’re like, I don’t need all this clarity stuff, Kara.

Great, okay, cool, move to this section, right? But then you try to force it into a life that isn’t ready to support it back to that growth mindset yet. This final phase of purpose alignment method is momentum. This is asking those questions of what is my next step? What do I do? This is the day-to-day ops. This is like, what am I doing to implement? This is all about implementing, not being motivated, but gaining momentum. How do I build consistency without burning out and not feeling like I have to do it 24 seven? What do I do when life shifts?

Cara Harvey (00:04.142)

Welcome to the Purpose Driven Mom Show. Here at Purpose Driven Mom, we believe that it’s possible to manage your home, work on your personal goals, and grow and scale an online business.

Most productivity tips out there tell you to hustle more and make you feel shame about not being motivated enough. And we’re here to dispel this myth. I’m Kara Harvey and I am on a mission to help work at home moms realize that they have the power to go after their dreams, take care of themselves and manage their home without perfectionism, guilt or having to sacrifice their sleep. If you’re ready to shift your thinking around productivity and get some practical tips to help you manage your mom life, toss your earbuds in while you fill the laundry and let’s do this.

Cara Harvey (00:48.45)

Have you been wondering how you can make AI and ChatGPT a tool you use and not something that overwhelms or irritates you? I know I did not want any part in the AI when I heard about it a few years ago, but now ChatGPT has become my personal assistant. I have put together 40 of my favorite prompts specifically for moms to help you manage your schedule, break down your goals, create meal plans, and more. You can go to a purpose-drivenmom.com slash AI prompts and grab these absolutely for free.

and start using the Chat GPT tools for good and helping your day feel lighter and better. That’s a Purpose Driven Mom.com slash AI prompts.

Welcome to the Purpose for Mom show episode 502 and we are in March, which means we are in the month of On Purpose U. On Purpose U is my brand new program I am unveiling out to the world and it is specifically meant to help moms create their own pathway and roadmap for themselves when it comes to their life, their goals and learning about themselves. The heart of this program for me came when I really realized I was like hitting midlife and I wasn’t sure what I wanted anymore. And it came from this place of wanting to understand myself better.

understand my schedule and ask myself, how do I want to live this next half of my life? On Purpose U is meant to help give you clarity about what you want, create aligned schedules and get momentum that actually has you achieving the things that matter to you. Each week on the podcast in the month of March, I’m going to be sharing a different video from a different school. Now, On Purpose U is set up

like a university, which is just a fun little play for me as a former educator, right? And it is here to help you identify what kind of things do you need to work on next. Now, last week I shared a video from our core curriculum. This is a video from our School of Clarity. The goal of the School of Clarity is to help you figure out what it is you want, identify the season of life that you’re in inside the School of Clarity. I also talk about like lifestyle shifts. I’m having a new baby. I have a new career. I got divorced. I’m in my midlife.

Cara Harvey (02:54.88)

What do I do and how do I adjust? And also when we hit this midlife of what do I want? What do I even wanna do? We don’t know these things all the time, because we don’t give ourselves the space to do it. The other thing that’s cool about the School of Clarity that I love is it helps bust down that myth of I’m just overwhelmed. Because a lot of times I’m just overwhelmed isn’t the problem. What I have found ever working with thousands of moms now is that it’s not.

overwhelm its uncertainty. And when you’re overwhelmed with what you have to get done, it’s actually could be because you’re uncertain about the next step. And the overwhelm is coming from a place of unshoreness within ourselves, which is why the School of Clarity is here to help you figure out how to become less uncertain and how to move forward, how to match your capacity with what’s going on right now. We talk a lot about capacity. It’s like my buzzword of the program. Okay. And listen,

If you want to learn about On Purpose You, go to A Purpose Driven Mom dot com slash On Purpose You. We are launching on the 18th, I believe, or the 19th of March to the public for the first time, but you can join in any other time. We have some fun bonuses and it’ll be the cheapest if you, you know, if you join us then. But depending on when you’re listening to this episode, if you want to just check out the program itself, A Purpose Driven Mom dot com slash On Purpose You. You might hit the wait list if you’re growing now, but if you’re growing in the future,

Go check out this program. We want you to be a part of this membership. We made it affordable so that you can really get in because I have this, I’m on this mission to help as many moms as possible transform their lives this, in this season. And it’s really heavy for me in my 40s because I realize I don’t wanna float through the rest of my life and I don’t want that for you either. So if you wanna check out Show Notes, it’s a purpose of a mom.com slash podcast 502. And this is a video.

inside the School of Clarity. And this video is on identifying your actual roadblock, not I’m just overwhelmed, right? It’s gonna really jump into that. And it gives you a good sneak peek about the things I talk about in the School of Clarity. So enjoy. Part of the School of Clarity is helping you figure out what are the real roadblocks and things that are getting in your way. And this lesson is gonna help you.

Cara Harvey (05:05.504)

try to figure it out because it is very deep. There are so many things that could potentially be that roadblock for you. And that’s what we’re going to talk about. So what is it? What’s getting in the way of you achieving your goals? What’s getting in the way of you getting the things you want in life? What’s getting in the way of you loving yourself more or having the success that you dream of and the success that you deserve? Right? Loaded question. So let’s dive in. I think we often assume

if we’re not getting what we want. Fill in the blank here, right? Whatever it is you want, that it’s you. Well, I’m inconsistent. I lack discipline. I don’t follow through. I’m the problem. I’m the problem. I’m the problem. But oftentimes, that’s not the case. The case is there’s something about your goal. There’s something about your plan. There’s something about what you’re working on. And when we misname the problem, we choose the wrong solution. Because I think what you’ve probably been doing most of your life is trying to fix yourself.

trying to figure out what’s wrong with me so that I can be better, when in reality that is not what you need right now. And that is not what’s going to help you move forward with it. We think it’s a us problem, right? I’m not motivated. I don’t have enough willpower. I’m just so lazy. I don’t want my goal bad enough. But here’s the thing I want to tell you. These things happening, lack of willpower, having lazy moments, The lack of desire in your goals.

These are symptoms. They are not causes. They’re not the reason you’re not getting your goal achieved. There are things that happen because of another actual problem. There are five real roadblocks and we’re gonna go into some detail on a couple of them, right? Lack of clarity, over capacity, too many priorities, no systems and that emotional resistance, which we’ll go over these four in detail and emotional resistance is kind of it.

It’s always in each of them, right? But I want to be clear about something before we go into detail. The roadblock is not your personality. And I think we want to think this, right? Roadblocks are situational. Personality labels keep you stuck. I’m not feeling motivated right now does not mean that you’re a lazy person. It means you’re having a moment where you do not feel motivated. There’s nothing wrong with that. But we often like to think that that’s just who I am and I’m stuck in that thing. And it’s not true.

Cara Harvey (07:29.376)

You are not inconsistent. Your life is. And up until this point, you’ve perhaps not made a plan that aligns better with your life. Now, I say that with that caveat of like, I want you to reach your full potential. I want you to feel great about things. I want you to achieve your goals. But how long have you been blaming yourself for everything? And how’s it going so far? Has it worked? I bet it hasn’t. Because blaming yourself for everything is not going to move yourself ahead.

but identifying the actual problems and then in clarity on those will help you. So I want you to think when you try to move forward, what is usually happening? Do you freeze? Do you overthink? Do you get overwhelmed? Start, stop over and over again or just avoid it? Because each of these is gonna point to a different roadblock. And when you mislabel your roadblocks, right? You’re doing the wrong thing. So maybe you think motivation is the actual roadblocks so you push harder.

But if you’re having a capacity roadblock, which we’ll talk about in a second, then pushing harder is gonna create burnout. If you’re having a clarity roadblock, then pushing harder is gonna create confusion. So we need to be able to clearly ask, what is the roadblock? So let’s go into detail about a few of these. First things first, we’ve got our clarity roadblocks. This is how you know you’re in a clarity roadblock, right? You are constantly second guessing. And we have a video coming up on second guessing that you find yourself second guessing everything.

You change your goals every few weeks. Well, I wanted to do this and then I wanted to do that, but maybe this one fits better. You’re spending all the time, we call it procresta planning, right? Or researching instead of deciding. You feel pulled in a million directions because everything feels, you know, super important. But you find yourself with that emotional, I just don’t even know what I want anymore. When in reality, you have a list of goals, you know what you want, you don’t feel clear about what you want. Often our clarity roadblocks are telling us something.

They could be telling us that we’ve outgrown this old identity we’ve created. They could be telling us that we are disconnected from our own wants and needs. Maybe we’re carrying too many of those shoulds that we talked about. Some hidden signs that you’re in a clarity roadblock situation is you are busy as ever, but you are directionless. You are just doing, doing, doing, but you’re unsure of what to do next or where to go.

Cara Harvey (09:50.572)

and everything feels equally important, so you’re very scattered because you must, must do all of it. You’re often comparing your path to either someone else or old you, and you’re stuck in that clarity piece. So how do we help it and how do we not help it? What isn’t gonna help is forcing a decision. Making yourself decide just so you can move forward will not give you more clarity. And copying someone else’s path is just gonna lead you to being more confused. But at the same time,

waiting for perfect clarity will never move you forward. So instead, my recommendations, I you to narrow in your focus. I want you to go deeper into that one thing, like a pin drop, like microscope on it, and narrow the focus on the decision you’re trying to make or what you need to do. I want you to name some seasonal priorities to help you feel focused. Separating out those wants from the previous lesson we did, like, hey, what is it that I want right now? And do some identity reflection work.

So great place to go in the School of Clarity, right? There’s so many videos that you could go watch to help you figure it out. We’re gonna have a minor coming up on identity. So you can go dig deep into that if that’s what you need. There’s gonna be a lot more videos based on each of these. So if you need one of those, dive deeper into it. Now the other roadblock I wanna talk to you about is called the alignment roadblock. So this sounds like I know what I want.

but I cannot make it fit in my schedule. Like I know what it is, I just don’t know how to make it fit. This is where your plans always look good on paper, but they fall apart as soon as you start to do them. And then you feel guilty because you’re behind, you can’t keep up, and you’re always playing catch up. What’s really happening though, it’s a misalignment, right? Misalignment between the goals I want and the capacity I have. Misalignment between the systems I’ve created versus my actual life.

misalignment between the expectations that I have versus the season that I’m in, misalignment between the identity of who I am and the behavior of what I’m doing. You will start to notice you’re having alignment roadblocks if you can only do things in short bursts. You find yourself restarting over and over and you like to plan, but the execution feels like a mismatch. So what doesn’t work here? More discipline. Like I just got to do more. That’s not going to work. Making a tighter schedule will not help you feel more aligned.

Cara Harvey (12:14.048)

or over tracking, you do not need to keep tracking over and over and over again if you know what the problem is, right? But what will help you is doing seasonal fit planning, right? Like what’s my season and where am I going? Giving yourself some flexible structure. I talk a lot about this with my time blocking method where it’s structure and flexibility and giving yourself less priorities, taking some stuff off your plate, but going deeper in on them. Our next roadblock we’re gonna talk about, these are momentum roadblocks.

This is again, you know what you want to do, but you just don’t get it done. You just don’t want to. You are waiting for motivation to kick you in the butt and get you going. You over plan and over plan and over plan instead of starting or you start strong and then it fades out. Okay. So what’s happening here? Your tasks are way too big. You got too many things. You don’t have them broken down.

You’re starting friction, the obstacles are too high. I wanna go work out, but this is in the way, and this is in the way, and this is in the way. You rely mostly on motivation instead of the activation strategies. You wait for the perfect time blocks to magically make your schedule work, and you avoid finishing tasks. What’s not gonna work for you here is more inspiration. Like just getting more inspired is not gonna help. Making bigger plans for yourself is not gonna move you into action.

and spending more time on goal setting will not make you implement. But what does? Micro actions. Breaking them down into our 15 minute formula. Visible wins, rewarding yourself, Celebrating the progress. Giving yourself a lower starting threshold. Instead of I’m gonna work out for 20 minutes, I’m gonna work out for five, right? Something quick and short work bursts instead of trying to do your whole time block. Now before I go to the capacity roadblocks, the three main ones we talked about.

clarity, alignment, momentum, align with our schools here in On Purpose U. So if you notice that you’re hitting one of these roadblocks, a good next step might be to head into that specific school and watch some videos in that school. And what’s gonna happen is maybe with one goal, you hit capacity roadblocks and with another goal, you hit alignment roadblocks and one goal, you hit momentum. So you might have to watch a video in that school based on the lens of that specific goal, which is the point of the program.

Cara Harvey (14:35.426)

But I wanted to add in this other one and I talked the fifth type of roadblock is that emotional stuff that’s layered in all this. But our next one I just want to cover is capacity because we don’t have a school of capacity, but it is very important to talk about. And these are capacity roadblocks. This is the exhaustion. This is I have this high mental load. I have too much going on. I don’t know where to go next. So I’m stuck into decision fatigue. You leave yourself no margin in your brain or in your schedule. Small tasks feel huge.

just go full of the little laundry, right? And it feels massive. You avoid starting because it’s just so heavy and you forget things constantly because you have too much going on. When you’re trying to conquer your capacity roadblocks, adding in more systems to try to make the perfect system isn’t going to work. Putting more goals or more pressure on your plate will also not help. What actually helps when you have a capacity roadblock is to remove your commitment. Saying I’m not at capacity, that’s my phrase, I want you to repeat it. I am not at capacity to do this.

is removing commitment off your plate. I’d share this example in another video, but today, actually, I was invited to a baby shower of someone like I know adjacent. And I’m not going. It starts in 10 minutes, and I made a decision not to go because I am not at capacity. I needed to prioritize getting these videos done. I did not have the space. I felt super guilty about it, but then I said to myself, I’m not at capacity, and I don’t owe anyone any sort of qualifiers for what I have on my schedule to say I’m not at capacity.

you’re permitted to take things off your plate, right? What also helps is automating some of your decisions so you don’t have to think about everything fresh each time. Doing something like a monthly meal plan at the start of the month so you don’t have to think about dinner every night. Lower your expectations. We call these the when the poop hits the fan blocks. Like putting less on your plate for each day and saying, hey listen, if I only get the dishes done today, it’s a win.

helps your capacity because you’re moving forward but still having wins and just allowing yourself to go into maintenance mode. Sometimes we’re in a season where you’re in maintenance mode. You can’t add any more goals on your plate because you’re at capacity and there’s nothing wrong with that. So what I want you to do to think about the actual problem. I gave you a lot to think about and there’s a quiz inside the workbook today, but I want you to change the thought from how do I push harder to what type of support do I need next?

Cara Harvey (17:01.58)

for this specific goal. Now I’ve got a roadblock quiz for you inside your syllabus and the workbook for this course. And I want you to take some time and really think, what do I need? Now I might point you to heading to a different school, which you’re more than welcome to do, or you can stay and finish this school up first. I might point you to some videos, but again, each goal is gonna feel different. Come back to this quiz anytime you find yourself saying, I’m struggling with my goal because like this one isn’t working and it can help you figure out.

what you need so that you can troubleshoot your specific goal and give you more clarity. All right, I’ll see you in the next lesson.

Cara Harvey (17:41.08)

Thanks so much for listening to this episode of the Purpose Driven Mom Show. If this episode served you in any way, we would really appreciate it if you headed over to wherever you listen to podcasts, hit that five star and leave a review and a rating. That’s how more moms can find us and we can grow our community. If you had a tip or an aha, make sure you come over and tag me, add a Purpose Driven Mom on Instagram and share it with your friends. The best way for us to get this message out there of less hustle and less shame and more intentionality is for you to share it with people you know need to hear it.

Thanks for listening. We appreciate you. And I can’t wait to connect with you more outside of the podcast.