Cara Harvey (00:00.142)

All so we’re gonna procrastinate again. This is a video that I had done for OPY, but I think it really hits our point of what’s going on with our procrastination, how we can get over the procrastination hamster wheel and actually get some stuff done. All right. I think so many of us feel like, well, I’m just a person who procrastinates, right? But that’s not the case. It’s not something wrong with you, it’s not that you’re not disciplined enough.

It’s not that you have a time management problem, right? Like we talk a lot about this. Well, am I then all of a sudden I’m here and I’m here and then I’m putting things off. And like the question often becomes like, why am I doing it? Procrastination itself is an emotional regulation strategy. And if you can look at it differently and kind of step back, right? Step back out of this procrastination place our brain puts us in, then you can make an appropriate plan.

Okay, what is the definition of procrastination, right? It’s avoiding a task to avoid a feeling. That is it. The task itself isn’t the problem. The emotion that we attach to it is. And a lot of times we make procrastination so huge. I’m just putting it off, I’m putting it off. I can’t, what’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with me? It’s not that. Or why don’t I want to do

This specific task. And yes, we can audit it. We can go through and say, like, is it a different time of day? Are you coupling it? Is it broken down? We can do those strategies. But I think the real key to getting past procrastination is seeing and noticing the emotional patterns to move forward. All right. So there’s a lot of reasons. So I want you right now to think of something you’ve been procrastinating today. I’m sure we all have something, right? Something you’ve been putting off.

Whether it’s something like need to go and load my dishes or I need to go and plan this party or whatever it is for yourself. Okay. Why are you doing it? And this is not a question that we ask ourselves enough. I think when we get to procrastination, it’s like, what’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with the task? But what is it really? Do you f are you afraid that you’re gonna fail?

Cara Harvey (02:09.602)

Sometimes we procrastinate bigger tasks that have a bigger risk or reward because we’re afraid of what happens if we try and fail. Are we afraid of judgment that’s gonna come with it? So think about if you have something business-wise you wanna do, you wanna share with the world and you’re like, I’m so afraid to put this out here, right? How about that fear of not being good enough? What if I do try this thing or do accomplish this thing and I don’t do it well enough? Often it could be these emotions as well.

I’m just overwhelmed. And that’s okay. It’s okay to identify. Like, I’m not doing this thing because I’m overwhelmed. I’m not doing this thing because I’m uncertain. I’m not exactly sure what I’m supposed to do or what my best next step is. Often, this is like a big one thing for many of us. I progress as I’m just bored. I just don’t feel like it. I just don’t feel like doing it. Or we see stuff in that perfection pressure. I’m not doing the thing.

Because I can’t do it in the way that I want it to look, right? Once we can identify the emotion, then we can troubleshoot. But I want you to think for that thing that you’re procrastinating currently, what is it for you? Which is the one that you notice shows up for you the most day to day? Which is the one that you’re like, that’s it. Because I think a lot of times we think we’re procrastinating because we’re undisciplined, we’re not motivated, we’re lazy, right?

None of those feelings were on my little list, friends. That’s not what it was, right? What is it really? When you continue to procrastinate things, what you’re actually doing is putting more on your plate. You’re going to constantly be thinking about the task you’re procrastinating. It is that niggling niggle feeling in the back of our brains where you’re thinking about it. I still gotta do it. I still gotta do it. I said I was gonna do this thing. now I still gotta do it, right?

It gives us this anxiety that may not be there all the time, but it’s behind us. I said I was gonna start this project or go after this goal or do this thing, and now I still haven’t done it. Why am I not doing it? We’re thinking about it all the time. And the bigger cost I find is these last two. It’s reduced self-trust. It’s every time I procrastinate, I tell my brain this story. And the story is.

Cara Harvey (04:30.188)

I am not a person who, fill in the blank, can show up for my goal, be disciplined, be motivated, all those things. And it erodes at your identity till you just start saying things like, I’m just a procrastinator. I always procrastinate. I always do things last minute. And it’s not so much the task that is what is draining you, because we think that’s what it is. The delay is draining you. Simple example of like my dishes. I want to go load my dishes, right? If I’m procrastinating that, the dishes.

Loading the dishes is not what’s actually draining me. It’s thinking about loading the dishes. It’s all the things that go behind it. Your brain starts to then believe this task is my discomfort, and I don’t like that. We’ve talked about this so much. Our brain’s job is to keep us safe. So if it’s like, ew, this is uncomfortable, I don’t like this. So then the brain’s like.

Well let’s something else. That sounds much more fun. Right? Let me go pick up my phone. Let me just go scroll a little bit and then I’m not thinking about that uncomfortable laundry I have to go fold, right? Let me go grab a snack. That seems like a good thing to do. Let me go do something, right? I’m gonna go clean something random that is not connected to what I have to do. Or this one. We call member the procrastinate planning we always talk about. I’m I’m just gonna go research a little bit more. I’m gonna, you know, I’m not ready to get started yet, but I’m gonna spend a little bit more time learning, okay?

And then we say, you just start tomorrow. You’re taking care of yourself. And it chooses relief instead. And this is where we actually talked about this this week, like on Tuesday’s call, like, where do you find the place between challenging and pushing yourself and giving yourself grace? And there is a space of that, of like not pushing so hard that it leads to burnout. But when you can identify that this is what your brain is doing, you can actually audit it and say, like, hey, wait, do I need this break?

Or am I giving myself an excuse? Because when you delay, you’re feeling immediate relief. I don’t have to go fold that laundry right now. Cool, I’m gonna go scroll my phone. And that relief releases dopamine, especially if you’re doing something like picking up your phone. Our phone, and is anyone else reading this month’s book, How to Break Up With Phone? I was just reading this in chapter four, right? Our phones, social media is meant to condition and retrain our dopamine to needing immediate releases. So if you’re like, I don’t want to work on this thing.

Cara Harvey (06:51.004)

So I’m just gonna go to my phone, which feels like all right, I’m just going my phone. But it’s not just I’m going to my phone. It’s now I’m getting dopamine. And then my brain is getting the story that, like, avoidance works because this feels happy, right? A dopamine dopamine is making me feel happy. So when I avoid stuff, it’s fine. And then procrastination becomes a habit, which then becomes our identity. Okay. So you have to ask yourself a couple questions.

And this is about that grace and intentionality. Am I avoiding or am I overloaded? Because sometimes our procrastination is misdiagnosed as exhaustion. If you’re at the place where you’re like, I’m procrastinating something because of those reasons, we can identify as procrastination. But when you’re in a place where it’s like, I’m not doing something because I’m overloaded, we’re gonna solve that differently. Those are two different things.

But we often will get stuck in, well, I’m just procrastinating. I’m just again, I’m procrastinating because I’m lazy, like all those things when maybe it’s just that you’re overloaded, right? So there’s four different types of procrastination. And when you can identify which procrastination type you’re stuck in, which will change based on your goal, your season, what you’re working on. So when you can identify that, then you can say to yourself, all right, what am I gonna do with this information? Fear-based procrastination is the what if I fail.

This is like those big projects, those things you want to get started on that you wanna try, or I need to go put in applications for jobs, but like what if I fail? What if I don’t get picked, etc.? Perfection-based procrastination is that thought of, well, if I can’t do it perfectly, I won’t start. I don’t have the two hours to declutter the garage. I don’t have the, you know, you know, sunrise Bible study I wanna have. I can’t go work out for, you know, four hours like I’d like.

So because it’s not perfect, I won’t start. Overwhelm-based procrastination is this task is just too big. It’s just literally too big. Like I just, I don’t know what I’m doing. I got so much on my plate, there’s too much there. And then energy-based procrastination is like I genuinely like do not have the capacity. Like I just do not have it in me to get it done. And we’re gonna solve them all differently. So the first thing you’re gonna do.

Cara Harvey (09:12.751)

if you are noticing your procrastination. So think of that goal, think of that thing you’re putting off, put it all in your head, right? First things first, we’re gonna interrupt the pattern, right? We’re gonna identify what the emotion is. What is going on? And I think, okay, I was gonna say we’re gonna go into some examples like am I in fear based? Am I in perfection based? Am I in overwhelm based? Or am I in energy based? What is the feeling? And then just name it. Like I’m just bored right now.

Just call it out, right? No judgment. I’m just bored. I’m just feeling overwhelmed. I’m afraid to get started on this because what if I fail? Just naming it takes its power away. I feel like I’m in like every fantasy book I’ve ever read. Once you give something a name, right, it takes the power away. And what you’re then going to do is lower the activation threshold. So the activation threshold is what you need to get started on something. So you’re gonna say,

Maybe exercise. Let’s do that. I’m procrastinating, getting my workout done. All right. What is the emotion? I am just feeling this fear of failure because I’m not as fit as I used to be. And if I get started on this and I can’t get through the workout, I’m gonna feel terrible about myself. I’ve named it. What is my activation threshold? Well, this is what is the smallest amount I can do. You know what? Why don’t I just hit play on this workout and try to get through five minutes?

Just get through five minutes of it and then whatever happens afterwards is what happens. Take your microaction. This takes the drama out and allows you to stop self-attacking. I’m not exercising right now because I’m lazy, because I’m never gonna get there. And just make a plan, right? The other thing I want you to think about, right, is if I have this fear-based. So let’s go into some examples, ready? I have fear-based procrastination. I’m afraid of what’s gonna happen.

All right, so task. This happens if you’ve ever visited like I’m gonna post this content, I’m gonna post social media, I’m gonna go lie, etc. Okay. What is my emotion? I’m afraid of judgment, right? So, what is the lowest hanging fruit here? What’s my micro action? I’m just gonna write the caption. I’m not even gonna post it, I’m just gonna write it. When you have fear-based procrastination, you need to lower the exposure in order to get yourself into momentum. So if you’re thinking I have one of these things, I’m procrastinating because I’m afraid of it.

Cara Harvey (11:35.625)

How can you make it smaller, right? How can you make it a tinier, tinier thing so that you’re just taking micro steps forward? If you have overwhelm-based procrastination, here’s what we’re gonna do. Here’s an example. Here’s the tack. I gotta get the house organized. All right, this happens to a lot of us. We look around like, my god, there’s so much stuff everywhere, right? Like I gotta get it done. Name your emotion. I am overwhelmed. Okay, cool. Thank you. Like I get it.

So, what is the microaction? It’s one surface. Lower your activation threshold. I don’t need to get the whole house done, but I’m gonna go clean off my kitchen table. Just one piece of it will move you into action. And what as we know, as we’ve talked about over and over and over in this program, once you get momentum going on small steps, your brain starts to remember I’m capable of doing more and more and more and more, and you start to move forward. Now, if you are stuck in perfection-based

procrastination, right? That’s what it is. What are you gonna do? Here’s an example. All right, I want to launch this project. I’m doing this course. I’m working on getting these birthday invitations out. You know, like whatever it is. My emotion is like I am just feeling like it’s gotta be perfect. Because what if it doesn’t look right? What if it’s not perfect? What like it has to be a certain way. Just make your first draft. Don’t polish it. Just make it ugly, right? Just get something out.

Done is better than nothing and it’s better than staring at a blank person. Now, if you are stuck in this energy-based procrastination, right? This is where it’s coming from. This is the fear. This is the root behind it. What do we do? All right, back to the workout example. My emotion is I’m exhausted. I’m literally just exhausted. I do not have the capacity to take on this task. So instead of doing my full workout, I’m just gonna stretch for three minutes to do something rejuvenating for myself.

Or I’m gonna make the choice to rest intentionally and reschedule it. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s not avoidance, it’s an adjustment. And this is specifically for that energy-based. Okay. I want you to rethink the way you talk to yourself about your tasks when it comes to procrastination. Feel free, write this one down, take it on a post-it, repeat it to yourself when you notice you’re procrastinating.

Cara Harvey (13:50.437)

I don’t avoid because I’m lazy. This is the voice we need to rewrite. And again, you can insert any word for lazy. Lazy is the one that comes up in my brain. So that’s the one I’m using as an example, but maybe your inner critic says something different. I don’t avoid because I’m lazy. I avoid because I’m human and I can move anyway. Just because I’m avoiding now doesn’t mean I can’t take a step forward, right? If something does matter, if it is important to you that you get it done, just take one step.

Tiny step within 24 hours. Don’t finish it, just move, right? Because I’ve shared this before. I notice if I take more than two days off of exercise, it’s very hard for me to get back on track. Same with almost anything else. You want to prevent the long-term freeze that keeps you stuck in procrastinating. all right, so this was our lesson on procrastination. I’m gonna stop screen sharing. And I know it was a different way of looking at it than I’ve taught in videos in the club, which is why I’m excited to kind of toss this one in for you.

But I really want you to look at the stuff you’re putting off today, look at the rest of your list, look at the things you had planned for today and be like, what is it? What really is it? Because it’s not that you’re failing. It’s again, it’s always, I have to create a system that works for me.