Cara (00:00)

Welcome to the Purpose Mom Show, episode 522. It is August, so we’re talking all things back to school, resetting routines. Whether your kids have already gone back, I know that we have some friends who go back super early, or if you’re still waiting like I am, I still have all of August. My kids go back the 31st. Now is a really good time to reset routines, whether they’ve started or not. Today we’re gonna talk about how do you reset your routines before school really gets in the think of it. I was just talking to a friend this morning.

And my kids had camped this week. And I was like, alarms. I had to get up not even that early, right? I had to get them to camp pretty much at the same time they take school. And I struggled. And I was able to get my workout in, but it was my good, better best. Like it was my better option. It wasn’t my best option. I got something done, but I thought I need to do some things now so that the back to school doesn’t feel so hard. Right. Because summer, it’s

Wonderful. I am enjoying it. We had two weeks off. My kids will now do two weeks of camp, but like the camp schedules are not full weeks. Like this week, Isaiah’s it’s camp nine to two, and my Ariana’s away. She’ll come back and the next week and do camp from 9 to 12, which is fake. Like it’s not real camp. you know, because by the time I come home, do one call, it’s practically time to pick them up already. and we’re going on vacation next week. But it’s been wonderful, but it’s a lot. It’s chaotic, right?

By the time we August hits, when this is airing, and again, show notes, they’ll be at a purposedriven mom.com slash podcast 522. But by the time that it hits us, it’s like, I feel the lack of structure. I already feel it. And it’s only July, right? And then our brains start to do the thing where we make it big and we’re like, all right, I’m just gonna overhaul it all. I’m just gonna fix everything. I’m gonna fix every routine we’ve ever had because it’s the only way to reset. But that’s not the best strategy. Today we’re gonna talk about how do you reset intentionally.

Not perfectly, not overhauling every little thing. And we’re going to figure out how we can make that shift early. Because I know that when school starts up, I really want to get back to my working out in the morning and doing a longer workout. I’ve been able to skit in like a 20-minute walk, but I want to spend 45 minutes strength training. I want to do something a little bit more. I haven’t been doing my reading in the morning because I’ve been waking up later. things are okay, but they’re not the structure I’d like for school. And that’s what we’re gonna talk about today.

So before we start, as always here at APDM, we are gonna reflect before we rebuild. I love a reflection, you’re like, Harry, do we gotta talk about it again? Yes, we do, right? I don’t want you to reset your routines for September thinking I have to do everything we did last year, because maybe last year’s routines aren’t the best for this year. And your kids change, you change, schedules change, bus schedules change, things are a little bit different. So let’s reflect first.

I want you to ask yourself, what did work last school year? And I know it feels forever ago, but what worked for you? When I think about the routines that work for me, my kids’ morning routine works really well because they we don’t have to have a checklist anymore for them in the mornings. I actually did have a checklist for them in the summer that they follow. And it just because it’s like you have to do these things before tech, whereas we don’t have the same issues during the school year, but they know to get up to get dressed. Okay, so that worked. What routines worked for me? Making lunch the night before.

Those sort of things. And then which ones felt stressful? For me, a lot of times it was that after school routine. I was unpacking my kids’ bags still. And at one point I was like, why am I still doing this? Like my kids can do this. Sometimes we went right to homework, sometimes we didn’t. So that after school routine didn’t work so great for me. And what has changed from last year to this year? Maybe it’s a lot, maybe it’s a little, depending on where you’re at. Kids are older, right? I know that.

My daughter is starting to be more interested in like doing her own hair and things like that. So she needs a little bit more time in the morning, right? Maybe that’s happening for you as well. The school schedules. Now my kids are still in the same elementary school. My town’s elementary school is K to six, So they won’t go to middle school till seven, eight. In my head, middle school is like six, seven, eight, but it’s fine. They’re at the same school, they’re on the same schedule. but next year, or in two years, I guess.

We’ll have a different schedule. And because my one daughter will move to LM Middle School, my son will be in elementary school. She’s gonna take the bus. That is big. That changes a lot of things when it comes to the schedule and the routines, what time they’re home. Maybe your kids are doing different activities this year. I know that we’re still waiting to hear our cheer schedule, but once we get it, it’s gonna change what days of the week we do things. My son is gonna be doing soccer. And if anyone else has ever done rec sports, I don’t know when we’re gonna find out what day it is.

I guess with dance, I’m not a dance parent, so don’t know, but I guess it’s dance like you can pick what day of the week. You pick the time, you know the instructor, like all those kind of things. Whereas if you’ve ever done youth sports, it’s like, whatever, we’ll find out later. and it was funny because I was talking to my kids about this too, because my son was doing soccer and then he also wanted to do another sport. And I was like, We just gotta see ’cause I don’t know what day of the week it is. And my daughter was like, So wait, you signed an

us up for stuff not knowing what day it’s gonna be and then things can overlap and you just have to figure it out. And I was like, yes, it is so tiring, right? but new activities mean new schedules. Maybe things have changed when it comes to work for you. Maybe you have some shifts. I know I work really light in the summer and heavier in the school year. And also energy, I’m a year older than I was last school year, right? So my energy is different. I want you to make a little chart for yourself. Keep, change, and let go.

What are the things that you would like to bring into this school year? What are the things that need some audits and adjustments? And what are the things that you can let go? Once we’re done with the reflection, we can move to step two, which is creating anchor routines.

Instead of rebuilding the whole schedule, because I’m sure you had some routine and some structure, right? A lot of what we do is routine anyway. So I’m sure there are some things that flow for you this summer. So let’s not overhaul everything. I want you to focus on the routines in particular that will make everything else easier, right? That second one, what felt stressful? Our goal here in creating your routines and starting to think about them now is what can I do to make them less stressful? Okay. So I’m gonna give you a couple examples of things that we do in our home.

That help the routines flow, that make my life a little bit easier, just because I know that I want to give myself a future gift, right? So in the morning, right? We get up. my son, I’ve trained this before, early bird. I don’t even have to wake him up. He’s typically up. My daughter, we’re gonna have to create some different sk things here, right? So that isn’t really working for us with her, but we have some good anchor routines. So I want you to think through. I’ll tell you my morning, you think through.

What would you like your morning routine to be? So my kids have certain things they have to do in the morning before they can put the TV on. My son, he will do them right away because he wants to put the TV on. And honestly, I do not care if he gets up at six and does all his stuff in 15 minutes and then wants to watch two hours of TV before school, I really honestly do not care. But again, that’s me and my family. So you do you. What is a good strong morning routine you can have that you can anchor into to make it easier?

we they have to get dressed, they have to brush their teeth, they have to have breakfast, clean up their breakfast. That’s it. It was very simple, right? Make a simple morning anchor for your kids to know what has to happen. Are there other things I would like my kids to do in the morning? Yes, but I keep it that simple because I don’t want to stress us out. Now, I also want you to think, if that’s my kids’ anchor routine, what am I doing? What is my anchor routine? So in the morning I have a

Very similar routine almost every day. Right now I’m not doing my reading, but this is what it typically looks like. I get up, brush my teeth, you know, come downstairs, make a drink. It’s like a protein, electrolyte, you know, like wake up, a little bit of pre-workout drink. and while I’m drinking that, I call through my photos, I do my Duolingo, When I’m doing it in my ideal way, there it is.

then I do like 10 minutes of personal development reading. Then I go work out. when I’m done working out, make sure the backpacks are packed, lunches, everyone’s up, everyone’s ready to go. And then I go shower while my kids finish up what they have to get done. Again, my son’s typically done. My daughter is the one I have to be like, let’s go, let’s go. and then we’re at the door, right? It works. So what’s your morning? What’s theirs? I also want you to craft an anchor routine that is after school. Now I mentioned my after school routine needs a little bit of love. So this is an area I’m thinking through.

Typically, a similar routine, right? It might not be working the way I’d like it, but this is what we do. We come home, lunch is unpacked, backpacks unpacked. and then I give my kids a little bit of time have a snack and decompress, maybe 15, 20 minutes, depending on our evening activity. A lot of times our evening activities start around six, so they have some time. Sometimes our evening activities start at five, so we have less time. So it just depends. Then homework.

which again, as my kids get older, they haven’t had a ton of homework, but we’re getting into the grades where they’re gonna get more. So what does that look like? And then we hang out, we have an early dinner at like five, and then we typically go to activities. what I’m doing is just enforcing what they’re doing. I don’t really do anything during that time. I might try to sneak in a little bit of my cleaning routine. I might fold some laundry while my kids are doing homework. I’m prepping dinner, things like that.

I also make a strong evening routine for me and for them. So again, we have dinner, we go to sports. when they come home, let them have a snack and then showers, they fight about who’s gonna get in the shower first. showers. While they’re doing that, I am loading the dishes and I’m making the lunches for tomorrow. I’m doing my fifteen minute pickup to reset the house for the day. And then I let them watch some TV, we hang out, they grab a book and they go to bed.

So I want you to craft some anchor routines for yourself and some anchor routines for your kids. So then that way you kind of know where you wanna go. It’s not overhauling everything, it’s overhauling a few things.

Now, I know that I mentioned that my kids aren’t back to school yet, and maybe your kids are getting back to school. So this time part, it’s up to you. But I think that you should start at least one week early to reset things. One of the biggest mistakes I’ve made in the past, and I notice other moms making too, is we wait until school starts to start our new routine. And I know that we don’t want to do it too early. I know we don’t want to cut summer short, but seven to ten days before school starts, start.

Making small tweaks. This is your soft launch, for lack of a better word, right? This is what makes you feel a little bit more anchored, a little bit less like, I gotta do all these things. I highly recommend the bedtime wake up. Start moving it a little bit earlier, waking up a little bit. And when I say a little bit, I mean five minutes, ten minutes. If you start 10 days in advance, that’s a hundred minutes you have to play with. Think about that, right? That’s like over an hour and a half that you could essentially be moving things.

If you’re doing them in 10 minute chunks or even five minute chunks. My kids right now, they’re in bed by like 10 in the summers. I would like them to be in bed by 9 to 9 30 during the school year. Again, we’ll see what activities hold for us. same with me. I’m not getting to bed till after 11 right now. And I was saying to my friend, I’m like, my God, I’m having such trouble getting up. And I’m like, I’m up till like 11 30. Like, no wonder. No wonder my body’s like, no, we’re not getting up till 7, right? So

Start moving things a little bit earlier. Start waking up a little bit earlier. Just five minutes. Okay. That slowly will get you all in a good space so that you have a less stark and challenging transition. pick one of your anchor routines to start practicing. Okay, so you have seven to ten days. So every three to four days, start a new routine. All right, let’s practice our morning routine, let’s practice our afternoon routine, let’s practice our evening routine. prep lunches the night before.

Once at least, like get back into that habit. If you have a new school route, drive it and then add 15 minutes to it because once the buses are back on the road, there goes that. Get the backpacks together, pick out clothes for the week. I really highly recommend you just start doing stuff early because.

It will be less that you have to figure out on the fly. Once school starts, you’re already trying to figure out a bunch of things, and there’s gonna already be on the fly things you have to do. Start these routines simply early. I also want you to create systems and stop relying on the motivation. Your motivation is gonna disappear. Systems are gonna reduce your decision fatigue. So, backpack station. This is one of those that like I actually, now that I’m saying this, I’m actually glad I’m talking this

I wanted to like start looking at the thrift store for like a new thing for my entryway for backpack storage because our backpack station like wasn’t working last year and it was like too heavy. My daughter will bring like so many novels, like books to school. And I’m like, Ari, like you do not have time to read all these books, but she likes options. So she’s like, Well, I like to have options for when I do have time to read. So spend time now. Make your backpack station, make your homework station.

Outfit prep. And depending on your kid, this will be my daughter, as soon as we’re done with some back to school shopping, which now that I think about it, my kids don’t they don’t get a lot of new clothes during the school year unless like we get a bag of hand-me-downs and they look through them. Like my daughter is still fitting into a lot of the stuff from the start of the school year. So she’s gonna be so excited to go shopping. She’s gonna be excited to pick out her clothes. My son could care less, right? Start picking them out now. Let’s organize our first week of school outfits. Get them all hung up in the hangar. So the whole week is already planned for yourself.

if you don’t have a good system for family calendar or telling them like where the papers go, start to craft your command center there now. a homework basket, right? Get that set up. Ask yourself, what decision can I eliminate for myself? Because once school starts, it’s gonna feel like a truck hit you and you wanna get all those things off your plate. And you can start those now.

And you know I was gonna talk about it, right? We’re creating all these routines for our kids. We’re trying to make life easier, but what about you, mom? A lot of us will rebuild everybody’s schedule, but what about you? I want you to make sure when you’re thinking about your back-to-school routines, you ask yourself, what does this look like for me? If I want to work out, where is this gonna fit? If I wanna read, where is this gonna fit? One of the mistakes I typically make is I have a light summer thinking August in particular. My kids go back, like I said, the 31st.

They’re not at camp at all. So they’re home the whole month of August. So we’re doing things. We’re out and about. I’m reading a ton of books. It’s been the best this summer. I feel like I’m just reading and I love it. I want to keep those things, but all of a sudden they’re back at school and I’m like, I have six hours. I must fill every minute to catch up for what I didn’t do over the summer. No, I still want to have my reading time every day. I still want to give myself a little bit of rest. I still want to craft out quiet time, especially quiet time because again, I’m anticipating it.

We just had two weeks of June where they were home together and we’re just fighting, fighting, fighting. July, there’s a lot more camps. So there’s not as much of that. They’re not as together 24-7. August again, all 31 days or 30 days, I guess. We’re all together. So I’m excited to think to myself, what do I want my routine to look like? What do I want my morning to be after I drop my kids at school? What do I want the afternoon to look like before I pick them up? How am I gonna transition? give yourself the routines you need.

And then go into the back to school season with the mindset of I’m gonna have to adjust this. The first iteration of your morning, afternoon, evening, et cetera routine, homework routine, whatever, it’s not gonna stick because things are gonna tweak based on what your kids need. Give yourself permission. When you get started and things aren’t working, it’s not throw it out. It’s not, it has to be perfect. It’s hmm, what is a small adjustment I can make?

So for example, my son, he’s gonna be in third grade. This is the year he can join the orchestra. His sister plays cello. He really wants to play the violin. He’s been asking. He’s so excited. Which means now in our afterschool routine, we need to fit in cello practice multiple times a week. Cause I am definitely like, I’m like, if you’re doing it and I’m paying for it, you’re practicing at home, right? That’s an adjustment that I need to make sure we plan for, right? Again, third and fifth grade homework looks different than it did in sixth and fourth. Go ahead and think through.

What is a small thing I can do? I want you, no matter when your kids go back, to start thinking like what is one routine I can reset? Can I start my Sunday planning routine, my Sunday prep where I’m meal prepping? where am I gonna make out let me craft out our lunch plan for the whole month? have I done my calendar prep? Have I looked at the school calendar and added everything so I know what to expect? Okay. Just add it in slowly, slowly, slowly. Even if school starts tomorrow, just keep going.

This is going to build momentum and it’s going to help you go into the back school season, feeling like your routines are not going to run you over, right? The school year is not going to be perfect. You don’t need it, right? You need routines that are going to support your life and things will change, Don’t feel like you have to have every minute planned out. It’s about creating enough structure and supports for yourself so you feel less stressed out. Give yourself this gift. Show notes are to purposedriven mom.com slash podcast 522. Head on over there if you want to listen again. And I’d love to see what you’re doing. You can find me on Instagram at

purpose to every mom.